loLipOP

Kosmo 18th July 2009

2009-07-18T19:33:00.016+08:00

RENCANA UTAMA

Inovasi kerepek buah-buahan

Oleh JAGATHESWARY NARAYANAN
n.jagatheswary@kosmo.com.my

Potensi Malaysia untuk menjadi salah sebuah negara pengeksport makanan dan minuman ringan di peringkat antarabangsa semakin cerah.

PERUBAHAN iklim dan bencana alam seperti kemarau berpanjangan di beberapa buah negara pengeluar makanan utama. Pertumbuhan penduduk global sebanyak 1.5 peratus berbanding pengeluaran padi dunia iaitu satu peratus pada tahun 2007, merupakan antara faktor yang menyebabkan peningkatan harga makanan dunia.

Walaupun keadaan pasaran makanan dunia sejak awal tahun telah mencetuskan krisis di beberapa buah negara, ia tetap menjadi keperluan utama dalam kehidupan seharian.

Malaysia bagaimanapun masih belum menghadapi masalah serius berkaitan kekurangan bahan makanan.

Ironinya bekalan makanan sedia ada dalam negara adalah mencukupi. Malah, kerajaan juga telah memperuntukkan badget yang besar untuk menangani isu bekalan dan harga makanan dalam negara.

Potensi Malaysia untuk menjadi salah sebuah negara pengeksport makanan dan minuman terkemuka di peringkat antarabangsa semakin cerah.

Menyedari hakikat itu, kerajaan menggiatkan usaha memajukan industri makanan dan minuman. Tindakan ini wajar, supaya lebih banyak produk makanan keluaran negara dapat dipasarkan ke peringkat global, demi memenuhi kehendak pasaran.

Inisiatif kerajaan itu terbukti menerusi penganjuran Pameran Perdagangan Makanan dan Minuman Antarabangsa 2009 (MIFB 2009), yang diadakan pada 9 hingga 11 Julai lalu.

Pameran bertaraf antarabangsa kali ke-10 itu, mencatatkan penyertaan dari 28 buah negara. Antaranya, Arab Saudi, China, Thailand, Belgium, Korea Selatan, Armenia, Turki dan Vietnam.

Ternyata pameran selama tiga hari itu menjadi platform terbaik untuk pengusaha tempatan meneroka peluang pasaran dunia. Sekali gus mempromosi produk dan barangan tempatan.

Pameran anjuran Kumpulan Utusan dan Expomal International Sdn. Bhd. dengan kerjasama Kementerian Pertanian dan Industri Asas Tani itu berusaha mengidentifikasi barisan usahawan tempatan yang menghasilkan produk unik berbanding produk makanan luar negara.

"Sebelum ini, penggemar kerepek berpeluang menikmati pelbagai jenis kerepek seperti kentang, pisang dan ubi. Kini mereka boleh merasai keenakan kerepek buah-buahan yang dihasilkan daripada rambutan, nangka dan nanas.

"Produk kerepek buah-buahan tempatan mungkin tidak pernah difikirkan oleh orang ramai sebelum ini. Sehinggalah sekumpulan usahawan tempatan muncul menghasilkan inovasi ini," kata Pengurus Besar Lembaga Pertubuhan Peladang Kawasan Sik, Kedah, Mazlan Ahmad. Beliau ditemui Kosmo! pada pameran yang diadakan di Pusat Dagangan Dunia Putra (PWTC), baru-baru ini.


MAZLAN AHMAD menunjukkan kerepek buah-buahan yang dikeluarkan oleh syarikatnya.

Pengurus berusia 45 tahun itu mengelola projek mega berasaskan buah-buahan tempatan yang digoreng secara vakum. Beliau memberitahu, daerah Sik yang terletak kira-kira 30 kilometer dari Gurun, Kedah sememangnya terkenal dengan penghasilan buah-buahan tempatan.

"Lokasi yang terpencil, kemiskinan penduduk kampung dan kekurangan pendedahan terhadap dunia luar menyebabkan hasil buah-buahan terbiar begitu sahaja, serta tidak dapat dikomersialkan.

"Bagi membantu melahirkan usahawan tempatan dan mengkomersialkan hasil-hasil tempatan, Lembaga Pertubuhan Peladang Kawasan Sik telah berkolaborasi dengan kerajaan negeri. Kerjasama itu bertujuan memperkenalkan projek mega yang mendapat sokongan padu mantan Perdana Menteri, Tun Abdullah Ahmad Badawi sejak tahun lalu," katanya.

Menurut Mazlan yang berasal dari Sungai Buloh, Selangor ini, sebuah kilang pemprosesan telah dibangunkan yang dilengkapi dengan mesin vakum goreng berteknologi tinggi yang berkos RM500,000 bagi memudahkan proses vakum dan menggoreng dilakukan.

"Mesin berteknologi vakum dari China itu menjalankan proses penyerapan air daripada buah-buahan tanpa menghilangkan kandungan nutrisi aslinya.

"Pada peringkat awalnya, kami memperkenalkan kerepek nangka dan nanas untuk pasaran tempatan. Kemudian, kami mengetengahkan pula kerepek rambutan yang mungkin kedengaran pelik buat orang tempatan," ujarnya. Mazlan memberitahu, produk terbaru itu dihasilkan setelah melakukan percubaan sebanyak 70 kali dan mengambil sehingga enam bulan.

Bercerita tentang produk terbaru itu, buah rambutan yang memiliki indeks kematangan separuh masak daripada jenis Deli dan Anak Sekolah dijadikan bahan mentah untuk menyediakan kerepek rambutan berkenaan.

"Rasa kerepek rambutan rangup, manis dan lazat. Penggemar makanan ringan nyata tertarik dengan ciptaan terbaru kami ini.

"Pada masa akan datang, kami ingin memperkenalkan kerepek cempedak, kacang panjang, lobak merah dan timun. Produk-produk ini boleh menggalakkan kanak-kanak yang biasanya tidak gemar makan sayur-sayuran dan buah-buahan mengubah tabiat makanan mereka," jelasnya.

RUMPAI LAUT, antara produk yang dipamerkan di Pameran Perdagangan Makanan dan Minuman Antarabangsa 2009 di PWTC.

SALLEHUDDIN KADIR menunjukkan demontrasi menggoreng sate di PWTC.

DAGING ayam salai halal keluaran DDQ Food.

Jelas Mazlan, kilang pemprosesan dengan tenaga kerja seramai 12 orang pekerja itu mampu menghasilkan 70kg kerepek sehari.

Sudah melibatkan diri dalam operasi syarikat itu selama lima tahun, beliau mengakui penyertaannya dalam pameran antarabangsa itu akan membuka ruang untuk produk-produk keluaran syarikatnya menembusi pasaran antarabangsa.

Seorang lagi pengusaha makanan, Jumahat Yaakub, 40, pula memperkenalkan produk makanan sate goreng. Sate sejak sekian lama diketahui hanya dibakar menggunakan arang.

Selaku Pengurus Besar, Poultry & Meat Sdn. Bhd., Jumahat memberitahu syarikat itu adalah milik penuh Pertubuhan Peladang Negeri Johor (PPNJ). Ia terlibat dalam industri ayam komersial, menggunakan teknologi pengeluaran moden dan dikendalikan oleh 100 peratus bumiputera.

Menurut Jumahat, produk sate goreng yang dipasarkan di bawah label Southern Fresh tersebut cepat dan mudah dihidangkan. Tidak perlu melalui kaedah-kaedah konvensional seperti dahulu.

"Produk makanan keluaran syarikat ini sudah berada di pasaran tempatan sejak lima tahun lalu. Ia semakin mendapat perhatian khususnya penggemar dan penjual sate di seluruh negara.

"Orang ramai juga tidak perlu lagi menunggu lama untuk menikmati hidangan tersebut. Sebaliknya, mereka boleh membeli produk terbaru yang bukan sahaja boleh dibakar, tetapi boleh digoreng mahupun menggunakan alat ketuhar gelombang mikro. Hanya dua hingga tiga minit untuk sedia dimakan," katanya.

Sate goreng yang dipasarkan dalam paket yang menarik itu dijual pada harga RM9 sebungkus. Produk itu dijamin boleh tahan selama enam bulan, jika disimpan secara rapi dalam peti dingin beku.

Selain produk sate goreng, pihaknya turut menyediakan produk makanan segera seperti ayam goreng, popcorn ayam dan ayam mentah.

Pengusaha makanan berasaskan manisan coklat, Chin Siew Hua, 54, telah mengusahakan perniagaannya sejak tahun 2005. Atas sokongan kaum keluarga dan sahabat handai, syarikat Chocolate Graphics (M) Sdn. Bhd. ditubuhkan.

Lebih menarik lagi, ketulan manisan berwarna coklat itu mempunyai reka bentuk unik. Lengkap dengan cetakan rekaan grafik yang menarik.

Produk yang dikenali sebagai coklat grafik itu diperbuat sepenuhnya daripada variasi coklat Belgium (Barry Callebaut). Ia tidak melibatkan campuran pewarna dan gula ising. Proses pembikinannya telah dipatenkan bagi memelihara kelainan dan keunikan produk tersebut.

"Selain dimakan, ia juga boleh ditulis dengan ucapan peribadi untuk dihadiahkan pada hari istimewa.

"Misalnya, sebagai tanda penghargaan pada majlis perkahwinan, majlis pelancaran korporat, hari jadi, ulang tahun perkahwinan dan sebagainya," ujarnya. Kilang pemprosesan produknya terletak di Subang Jaya, manakala kedai jualan pula beroperasi di pusat beli-belah Mid Valley, Kuala Lumpur.

http://www.kosmo.com.my/kosmo/content.asp?y=2009&dt=0718&pub=Kosmo&sec=Rencana_Utama&pg=ru_01.htm

same old same old

2009-07-17T20:43:00.004+08:00

bie got a job.. n im still, well, strugling but not really strugling, to find a job.

today was fun.. out w bie to accompany him fo an interview. look fo an apartment to rent on d paper.chill at mcd. manage to laugh today.

learn that husam is going back to his hometown, palestine nex week. wan is going to aussie on d 20th. nik is no where near kl. shaza is always missing. hanie doesnt ol too often. im out of fwens. n they all have their own route to follow n i feel like ive been left behind. u know its like when u bring 2 big bags to d airport but d airline accidently left one of it behind without u knowing coz ure already on d plane? im dat bag that had been left behind.

tmrw is saturday n i just realize it.

anyway, to ease of all d negative energy... here r some pics of my 3 lovely kittens.

kitam-kitam being mean towards d hamsters

diva struggling to stay active by taking boxing class

penyet resting away afta a day of running around

u guys must have think this is just one cat coz they all look d same..

i might take anti-depression pills, but im not crazy enuff to start imagine i have 3 kittens w 3 diff names. tQ!

just let me b n dont come back.

2009-07-14T02:03:00.002+08:00

d agony.. d pain.. d hatred..

this fwens of mine keeps coming back to always remind me to fall down.
to say "dont ever stand up, lil girl. if u do, we're gonna step on u even harder!"
so i did lay there... covered in dirt, broken in pieces and didnt dare to get up.
keep thinking to myself, what i did wrong to get here?

did i make a bad decision? yes.
did i followed my heart instead of my brain? yes.
did it all bcoz i was foolish? yes.
did i regret it? no.

i couldnt regret coz its already done.it was in d past.cant go back n change it.
i couldnt regret coz i gain my life experience from it.i learn mistakes.i was seeking adventure.
i couldnt regret coz i want to know how it felt like.i want to taste it.i want to endure it.
i couldnt regret coz i hope it will lead to something new.i hope fo a drama.i hope fo excitement.

still i lay here, been stomp at, spit at, mock at, and humiliated at.
curled up while d tears falls down, heart racing out, and w a short breath in.
i look up n my 3 fwens r still there staring, laughing, n pointing at me.
so this is where i'll b, under here, unnotice n alone.

i have to face d consequences rite?
i have to endure every step of this humiliating way rite?
i have to act all tough n didnt ask fo anyone's help rite?
i have to look death in d face rite?

i know ive been in this road b4.
i tot im done w it.
i even pretty sure it will nvr happen again.
but i was wrong. DEAD wrong.

nobody cares that im sick.
nobody even know how sick i am.
nobody tot it could happen to me.
nobody but me.

slowly im dying.i wish it could have been a better place.
tears still falling down.it nvr stopped from d beginning.
inside im broken in millions.too much bandages, it wont hold up rite nemore.
heart aches.i wish it just stop permanently.

work work work.where to work?its time to put more mask!

2009-07-13T21:45:00.005+08:00

let me see..

so far, i've been to 2 interviews. one is for Herbalife which they only stated there "work from home" n i end up didnt register anything. d promoter is way pushy n sarcastic anyway. d other one is for Ericsson company. they turn me down (well,they dont actually turn me down.they just think its fo my own best interest) bcoz i was too qualified (which i was glad n smiling all d way to d car.its kindda a compliment fo me).

hvnt search fo any new jobs fo d last one months.which means i have been unemployed n wasting my parents money every day fo d past 3 months. last weekend i helped my dad to promote d family business (fo those who didnt know, d company is called Fitrah Food n we make cincau n seaweed plus lemon drinks). since my "adorable" uncle told me last minute, i couldnt find time to find a partner to help me during d exibition.d first n d second day, Fatahah company was generous enuff to lend one of their employee to help me out n on d third day, i ask my fwen to help me. Ahchong, really man, u helped a lot that day. thanks a million times!

my dad recently appointed me to do d data entry fo d company.which i still hvnt finish till now.stopped 3 weeks back.im sooo gonna get killed! n surprise surprise, he wanted me to inherit d family business. its not that im not interested. its just mayb i just wanted to c d world first u know. know other people.experience business atmosphere in other places first. mayb even take a step to planning my own studio. but d way things are now, w me STILL unemployed, i feel so empty rite now. like i shud start learning d family business but i dont feel its d rite time yet. sigh..

zul, my younger bro still hvnt decided to come back home.supposely tmrw but he postponed... AGAIN! i wish he was around. so that my parents wont always need to put me under a microscope.

i really want to have a job. i dont mind if its like RM1500 a month.n i really feel like moving out of d house.have a place of my own is hassle but atleast im not always watched by everyone. i always feel like i was destined to do something great. im not saying that im gonna b d one who found d cure fo H1N1 thou.. just something that me myself would b proud of n everyone around me will feel d same. im slowly loosing that dream..

yesterday i put a status on Y!m " i feel like my expiry date in this world is getting near". im not being a drama queen o seeking attention. n its not d first time i feel that way.its just lately i feel strong bout it. dont u guys think of it sometimes? if everyone says no, mayb im beginning to loose my mind.mayb im starting to slip again to my sick days. where nothing matters n dying is easier.

even better, i hvnt eaten my medication far too long. i know it calms me down.i know it relax me.n i know its there to help me.im not saying i dont need help.i do. i just dont feel like wanting d medication to take over my body.i feel fake eating it.im not myself.but me always depress n being mad in everything is also not myself.im confius...

a fwen of mine once told me, he can read me when im not being myself.i was denying d whole thing. he said he knows when im really truly happy n when im faking it. i went silent. i was so used to puting a mask, i dunno who i really am anymore.i use to think im a carefree, crazy gal w loud opinion.but when i think back, i usually do that to hide my real emotion. when whenever i show my real emotion, people will b all "y d long face? something wrong? need help?u ok?". i find it irritating.not that i hate people care, just that i hate that im showing it on my face n make others worried.so i put more mask.is it stupid to feel that way?

shud i start eating back my medication? shud i keep on putting more mask? shud i let people care? shud i stop caring? o mayb its true... dying is easy.living is way harder.

Malina and Gedix plus 3

2009-06-16T18:28:00.005+08:00

Presenting: My new love of my life!!

Kitam-Kitam

Diva

Penyet

and here's d beloved mother, Gedix

here are my most cherish beloved pet EVER! jeng jeng jeng...

well.. i'll update later.. jolly-ho!

so far...

2009-02-26T15:52:00.005+08:00

let me see.. what have i done so far that i hvnt blog here? too many....

ART TALK INCIDENT

i had my ART TALK recently n it was... well, to simplify it - DISASTER!
ART TALK is somewhat one (of my many) FYP that i needed to stand infront of a group of public and try to b brilliant in d topic "digital black n white" without any hasitation.. PUBLIC SPEAKING! *this is where d suspence music should come in*

i was very (n im not trying to overdone this piece) humiliated w myself. seriously... if i were one of those audience, i wouldnt wanna hear myself crapping infront there.n i would say "what does this gal trying to say? she's boring.. *continue chatting w d person beside* bla bla bla".

yes.. it is THAT boring! i have d topic that i have no idea about, that i am not interested in, n something that i wouldnt have any idea how to make it sound mildly interesting (at least!).

somehow, after that, i feel like one of those "im-just-here-coz-i-look-like-a-pretty-item-in-this-group". (o.0)

TASIK KENYIR INCIDENT

i went there coz of a claz trip that i have no excuse not to join. went there only w 20 bucks.well, i payed d 350 bucks fo everything (4d 3n) beforehand. by d time i arrived at d jetty, i received msg that my deares daddy just bank in more money, which unfortunately fo me, no nearest ATM. greaaaaat...... ~

d most unwanted,unavoidable n unacceptable news come 5 mins later. "No phone signal after leaving d jetty, so called o sms whoever u need to now." i think everyone scream in silent hearing that.i did too.. but i add "oh shit! n i top up a lot just in case." a bit too loud thou. then a 5 mins round of "crap..crap..crap.."

well.. not everything that starts bad, ends bad thou.. it usually stops getting bad along d middle
of d adventure.

it was an adventurous trip thou. with all d jungle trackking, swimming under icy cold waterfall, walk thru a bat cave (dissapoint to find no batman live there),play w a pool of "kelah", sleep in a chalet that always have water and electric like a switch on/off button, bbq while listening to d clazmates karaoke-ing and so much more.

d bad part is, thou im in this claz fo almost a year n half, i still feels like a stranger.

HOUSEMATES INCIDENT
i had a few arguement w them.it didnt turn out well these days.thou i tried to make it better, it didnt n i end up get really hurt. hurmm...

PARENTS COME TO VISIT INCIDENT
well, its not really an incident. they came to visit me at Malacca. bought plenty of stuffs... n i do mean plenty~ (im not saying this to brag.. but do continue to read):
(a) d essential stuffs like food n snacks
(b) water filter
(c) 80 bottles of cincau!

well, its actually from mydin that didnt want d extra of it, n if it is brought back to d factory, it is just going to b thrown away like a garbage. it took all of my fridge's space n my my fwen's fridge to fully store it.but come to my surprise, it was finish under a week! A WEEK! ONE WEEK! i didnt even touched it. my housemates n fwens drank it all. wow... i really should sell this stuffs one day. thinking back, i already did a few times b4. it does generate lotsa money back. :P

ASSIGNMENT INCIDENT
well, i do have lotsa assignment to do n too lil time to do it.just enough money to do it by d way. some lil help plz? *starry eyes...*

question of d moment: can i get married to kimo? puh leeezeeeee....~

Finally....!!

2009-01-12T22:38:00.003+08:00

finally i got my bbq party that i have been wanting since last sem organized a few days back!! phew~

tq to tina,na,farrah,sumi,nik,wan,arip,berry,dayah,rita n kimo!!

it was a hell lots of fun to just hang out,legally make an open fire,eat n talk till our bellies are full n everyone starts to dooze off.

had chicken (with kimo's special marinated ingredient), squid (very chewy), kerang (which suppose to b d dessert but end up everyone was full b4 it was cooked), fish (dayah's fav), coleslaw (my ingredient), mushroom sauce (glad everyone loves it - d first to finish), and lotsa drinks.

hope to have it again sometime soon in d future. kindda promised to do it fo d class.. *gulps* 23 people fo d entire class... *whistle*

ps: i love to tell other people that kimo is my husband. :) really wish its true thou~

b4 i forget!

2008-11-27T18:48:00.003+08:00

my horny Alby (hamster) was pregnant b4 n had delivered 11 hamschkins.heheh.. unfortunately, five r left. :(

n i have new cat! it's name is Gedix!

im back im back im back

2008-11-27T18:26:00.002+08:00

im back in subang!!! well, long time oledi.hahaha.. but i just had d chance to grab d lappy top,went to d nearest wifi zone (eg:starfuck) n take d chance to write this blog.

yes people,i miss u guys too! hahaha.. n i hate d fact that my dad cut d streamyx line at home n i cant update too often. *sigh*

latest news:

*i've join fitness first! yes people,im skeletonly skinny n still am but im trying to put muscles here n there so i could atleast fool people to think that im slightly bigger.hated d fact that i walk around like a wobbly head figurine n keep on hearing "malina,y r u getting thinner?"

*i cut my hair... short! duh! hair r suppose to b short when it is cut. later i'll post it. its hideous n ugly but people keep on saying "its cute! i like it!" (liar liar pants on fire!)

*im ok w my big bro already.fo those who doesnt know d story,dont ask.fo those who knows, yeah yeah,u guys were right.fine!

*i broke my old glasses into 2 n made a new one n i look like a kinky teacher from an anime. dont know wether thats a good thing o a bad one.

*im back home in subang which i miss miss miss a lot n was homesick fo d last 2 months o so.

*i need to work to pay off most of my debt.well,my debt to U Mobile only.i think d bills is like RM 1000 already.shit!

*next semester is my last semester in that dreadfull place of UiTM sorry ass~ THANK GOD!

*last but not least, i love my bf too much. :D

hanie went away~ fo d second time!!!

2008-09-26T01:09:00.007+08:00

there's nothing to talk bout it rather than just showing it....

hanie's kenduri

hanie's fly away

got lots more.. but i hvnt had enuff time to upload them.. gonna do it later.. anyway...

I MISS U HANIEEEEE!!!!

new life interest~

2008-09-07T16:04:00.005+08:00

new resolution: need to b ol more OFTEN!!!

new chilling place: USJ 8

new hobby: cuddling w bie

new pet: Noor Faridzan Faizreen

Keeper's memory

2008-08-21T00:46:00.003+08:00

im sorry fo hvnt updated my blog earlier...

i've been bz out of my head w d new sem n d new assign(S) building up. n not to mention more life probs that is slowly eating me up.

classes have been fine.we just got back from Langkawi n it was super fun.went everywhere n i get to drive d van!hehe.. i think i wanna try driving a lorry next.

i will post d pics later as d bloody lappy top kindda acting up tonite.

oh yeah! i have gotten myself 2 hamster!! hammie n albino @ alby. dont ask me what is their gender as i have no freaking idea. but i think hammie is a prince charming who waits fo his body to grow n awaiting fo my passionate kiss so that he can break from d evil evil spell. yup! i believe that is what my hammie destined to b.

y am i hving this thoughts/fantasy/dreams/ideas? easy! i dont c no balls o dick on hammie but it sure does like to push thru w it's head on a "very restricted area" whenever i play w it on d bed. im a gewd guess-er rite?

while fo alby,hurm.. i really think alby is like a coward pussy.i think its a she too.so it does go w d attitude.but when i bought alby,it was less that half of hammie. almost 3 weeks later,it ate like there will b no tmrw n it is d same size as hammie.demm!

not to mention,this 2 babies of mine, is lazy as a ... a... a pig! they will b sleeping most of d time. but i soo love them both. they will start to b active at nite.i sleep alone at malacca. i hv a habit of listening to my surrounding n notice every small sound n get scared afta that. hammie n alby likes to do noises n im not really that scared nowadays coz i know they're d one that is being noisy (thou there are some noises that i know is not coming from them).

hammie

alby

u must b wondering y am i yapping about my hamsters. it keep me from yapping bout my personal probs that i know i shudnt revile it in d open. n im trying hard to contain myself....

oh oh! i think i need to "cleanse" my pink box house again. im starting to get weird bruises on my leg that looks like someone was holding me. i tot once is enuff...oh how wrong i am...i got it a couple of times already n d recent one is pretty big.

ok..im tired already. my langkawi trip tiredness hvnt gone yet n now yesterday's bus travel n today's outdoor shooting is building up. nanite people~

recent accomplishment:

d longest time witout my daily medicine: a month!

d fastest reshoot assign finished + d same day's submittion: 3 hours!

d fastest boiled up arguement w my parents: half an hour arriving home

fear being conquered: crossing d drain witout any help n riding d cable car till d top

longest time being single: 6 n half months

sweetest thing ever told: i believe in gving u all d time u want n even if i come back, i still believe in gving that time... i am willing to wait fo years.

GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO MELYNA!

calm calm weekend~

2008-06-02T00:36:00.002+08:00

didnt do much fo d weekend..

friday went back home rather late.did overtime till 7.30pm.d day b4 i did till 8.30pm.usually im off work at 6pm.hehhe..got bunch of work to do. *sigh* even worst.. it somehow have not finish till now.went to c "lonjong" w a workmate of mine.she was quite surprise w fwens that i got.just to prove that i do have amazing close fwens.hehe.. (ego kicking in)

saturday..lazy saturday.. let me see.. didnt do anything during d day except d normal stuffs.

normal stuffs: eat+b lazy+watch teve+bath till late+accompany my mom to carrefour

haha..then went to pyramid to meet up w d "sharifahs" fo lingerie shooping.

woke up at 1pm on sunday.thou i know n certain i slept at 1am d other nite.still... i feel sleepy.not that i have too much sleep..but its just i need to replenished my body.haha.. had breakfast then start wash n vacum my dad's car,then my younger bro's car n lastly my car.n when it was almost finish, d rain came down.hahhaha...half of my car is dirty back (coz i washed it under d house roof) n d other cars was drenched in rain.dunno wether to call it lucky o something else.

went to subang parade to chill w shaza,kodek,haris n muhriz.i couldnt remember d last time i was there that long.till all d shop was close.went fo "evening snack" at sushi king then head to d fish foot treatment thingy.shaza was so scared of it so she swap place w kodek.was all rather fun n all.back home n found out mama didnt cook much fo dinner.so i had none. :( hungrrrrryyy!!

oh well.. i better sleep now.tmrw is monday.monday have this aura where working people feel soooo boring! monday bluesssss...~ (now i know!)

eye check..n d truth comes out~

2008-05-28T23:00:00.004+08:00

went to summit to buy my new lenses just now (finally!! i hate wearing glasses) n to my surprise,my eye power went up d roof eventho i start wearing d glasses fo a week only.demmit..

left 350, right 325 (now)
left 300, right 275 (b4)

then i went to check fo d reason y i cant stand to c lights when i got tension headache.. afta a couple of test, d guy said my left pupil didnt smallen quite rite enuff when light hits it.thats y i cant stand d light.n also its coz of d drugs ive been taking to relieve d tension headache.demmit.. i knew there were consiquences.. didnt know it was this bad. double demmit.i have to change my glasses' lens later.haihh.. more money to spend.

went back home n told my parents bout it (found them at d living room kindda stopped talking in whatever topic there were into went i walk in) n theyre we quite concern.mama even suggested fo me to do LASIK.i said it cost too much.around $3000 if im not mistaken.then mama told papa bout d story i went to d hospital.i only told her i went fo d eye check up n hide d truth bout i went to check my sickness as well.fo some reason,i feel d urge to tell them d whole truth.they were more stump wacked than b4.i guess it was too much of me to keep hiding things from them.then comes d "islamic lecture".anyway,lets skip on that.....

hurmm.. i even told them bout what i found out on d net bout panic attacks.which make them "astaghfirullahhalazim".haihh.. i dont even know now wether its a good thing o a bad one to tell them.

OMG!!! there's a song fo me in lithulian...

2008-05-28T19:28:00.005+08:00

here is d song that supposely fo melyna~

.. from a half naked (i hope) guy....

n also... there's a village after my name. The village of Malina

plus... there's a movie on 1991 which is called.. "Malina" hahaha..

im not kidding..just click on d big white name~

second week of my so called career women life...

2008-05-27T23:12:00.003+08:00

my parents wasnt around fo d whole last weekend. yet, i didnt go out late nite.haha.. i guess mama n papa did train us well.

went to d hospital on friday.afta waiting to c d doc fo 3 hours... she said my eyes is ok,i need to do blood test this week n meet d psychiatrist nex week fo my panic attacks.n it took her around 10 minutes to say all that.

3 hours of waiting = 10 mins consultation. (-.-)

shaza did some "doa selamat" at her house on saturday which i attend coz her mom is going to umrah on monday.i ate like it was no tmrw!! hahhaha.. even felt asleep on d couch coz im too full.

which makes me realise something.. ive been hving quick doze off here n there regardless d place.i even doze off at d hospital's chair.n when i realise i doze off,i suddenly in shocked n wake up in a startle.which apparently at that time, too many times. *i think d person that was sitting beside me think i have a misterious shocking disease o something n was kindda bothered by it*

afta d "doa selamat" thingy, went to shisha at sec 18 *yes nik,u said sec 14 be okkk!!* w nik n wan.fo ten bucks it sure was fun.we smoke our lungs out... literally.haha..

anyway,didnt do much on sunday except fo watching movies on astro while munching on pizzas *i do have an idiot younger bro who order d pizza n nvr told me beforehand bout it* n also went to darus fo a quick chilling w nik.

monday.. oooo monday.. was kindda lazy fo monday.coz it's working day! now i know y working ppl hates monday. oh well,what more shud i say? u know d babbling bout monday blues...

fo d record: i nvr knew im d second youngest person working there until today.everyone is actually either in their late 20's till middle 50's. its either im really bad in judging someone's age o they do look younger to b on that age! o mayb im too old fo my age?

special thanx to a fwen who have been very kind letting me stay at his place just in time fo me to rest around while waiting fo d jam to clear out.ive tried today to go thru d jam n it just took me 45 mins to get home.so i guess it kindda ok if i just went straight back home.but d fuel mileage is such a bitch!

ps:im still wearing my nerdy glasses till today.mayb continuation till tmrw.coz my parents just arrived a few hours back n i didnt get to buy d lenses.demmit!

dressing up like working grown up women is fun!

2008-05-22T22:18:00.002+08:00

everyday.. b4 i sleep, i think of what i wanna dress up in d morning fo work.hahah.. i know its lame.. so what? i wanna look presentable.

unfortunately, 3 days ago, i got eye infection n i had to wear glasses d past 3 days.demmit... i look like a nerd! hate it..

working is fun+boring.hahah.. fun coz i can fill my time w usefull stuffs rather than spending papa's money.boring coz of d tension from d workload.

tmrw im not gonna work.im gonna take an mc.i wanna go to ppum fo check up fo my eye n fo my "sickness".n im gonna go thru whatever d doc ask me to do.n ill try to endure it w whatever guts i hv left in me.

starting to feel uneasy w people keep on telling me "there's no way u dont hv a bf.ure trying to hide it arent u?" NO I DONT HAVE ANY BF!! TQ!! n im happy that i dont.thou there r "invites" to b "their's", i refused to b in any relationship fo now.im happy to b single n dating around. its just much more fun that way~ weeeeeeee...

pics from jack's bestday party n MIHAS

2008-05-18T15:08:00.006+08:00

yeah yeah.. i know u wanna c d pics.

just wanna let u know im gonna start working around pj nex tuesday n might probably b really bz afterwards. n yes... IRONMAN IS KEWL!! ironman = orang besi. haha..

from jack's party

bestday boy = jack

jack's bestfwen = achong

achong's gf = liz

fya n azad = cute couple

nik = d youngest of us all

melyna = d attention seeker

MIHAS event

d old n d new product~

cincau n seaweed w leamon

melyna w zetty

melyna w meira

b4 starting work

my name tag

opening of d shop

right view

left view

this d time when it wasnt bz yet..try to imagine when it is!

abg ala fonte who always gv us free drinks..yum yum!

heppie mother's day !!!

2008-05-11T23:33:00.003+08:00

MY PART TIME WORK IS FINISHED!!!

hahaha.. its done n over.. no more "try our newest product, seaweed with lemon.we have cincau too..come come".. no more xl uniform (which i usually use s sleeping uniform).. no more fake smile..no more 8 hours of make up plastered on my face..

but i do miss d co-workers there.. i miss d harmless flirt..i miss d "i use to b THAT crazy person!" attitude..i miss d free food n drinks they always offer..i miss d tiredness...

oh well.. im gonna hv all that soon anyway.. gonna find a new job d nex few days....

to kiki: im sorry fo what i did.i didnt mean intentionally to lie.she was manipulating us both.i know its over now.i know theres no more cards left to offer.n all im asking now is just ure forgiveness.

to You: im beginning to hate u.dispise u.n i cant stop to feel annoyed towards u.u make lies n manipulation look like a noble thing.u make ppl tot of u s d one who got abused fom d guys in ure life.guess what?u cant fool me.i nvr liked it ure ways.it disgust me.n wanna know smthg else? u brought ure own probs.not those guys who intentionly wanna trouble u.serves u rite!

sorry.. had a momentarily breakdown. :)

HEPPIE MOTHER'S DAY MAMA.. WE LOVE YOU!!

i bought my mom a cake n zul bought pizza fo dinner.mama feel loves tonite.hehe...

talking bout work again~

2008-05-09T21:44:00.003+08:00

today is d third day n im tired beyond belief!! i even feel asleep fo a few minutes afta 2 hours of opening today under d table.haha.. luckily theres 2 others to cover me up.working w my dad o my unca is nvr fun.sheeessh.. today's profit isnt as much as yesterday's but we sold 3/4 of d goods at d end of d day.needed to put in more bottles tmrw.MIHAS gonna b open fo public tmrw n d nex day.things will get crazy i believe.

come n c me at Fitrah Food SDN BHD at Hall D booth no D110!! im gonna b d one who wear all black n a cap.well,that is our uniform anyway~ haha..

work work work~

2008-05-07T21:51:00.004+08:00

yesterday i went to cyber to meet azlin n achong.wanted to go fo shisha around hartamas but end up hving dinner n shisha in cyber n putra.hahha.. was hving lotsa fun shisha-ing w d guys.kindda miss on my mmu days.gonna have it again one of this days.

today i started working w my dad. at MIHAS (Malaysian International Halal Showcase) promoting my dad's cincau n a new product - seaweed with lemon. kindda nice d new one but i still prefer d cincau best.lotsa cute guys there n i was hving fun hving harmless flirt w them. zetty was way kewler than i expected. she was d one making d stall alive w her bubbliness.

yesterday nite i went back kindda late.around 1am n slept around 2.30am. papa told me last minute bout telling me to get to MIHAS w d train n d bus. it was kindda crazy considering d fact i told zetty im gonna pick her up around 8.30pm n ive been calling her since 7pm w 22 misscalls.lastly,papa send us there...... i know... its d same as me going there w zetty alone.kindda bummed out fo d last minute decision.

oh well.. very tired now.need energy fo tmrw. c ya!

final (n only) paper on sunday!

2008-05-02T02:56:00.002+08:00

n i hvnt studied anything.haha.. bzied myself w family enquires.

yesterday was irfan n kakanie's bestday.they r my nephew n my sis in law.quite a boring party actually.coz im not in d party mood.lost it recently i guess..

HEPPIE 4TH BESTDAY MOHD IRFAN DANIEL N HEPPIE 32ND BESTDAY ROHANI!!

going back to malacca today at 8.30am.jack's bestday party tonite.hvnt pack a thing.haha.. later in d morning la.

coming back home either sunday evening o monday morning.depends on when my paper is due.kindda forgot to check d timing.haha~

New templates!!

2008-04-30T05:25:00.002+08:00

huhu.. greeeeeeeeeeen~ haha.. saw this templates n i just gotta have it. thou its not my fav color, but i kindda like green in a way.anyway, most of d things i've put up b4 gone already. *sigh*

kindda sux in d web HTML n those stuffs thingy actually.but im still learning.took me an hour to put this template fo my blog.hahah.. i know i know.. just copy n paste.. but i kinnda took a rather long time to figure out where to ACTUALLY put it. hahaha.. kindda lame isnt it? :P

today,well,actually it was yesterday,d sun gonna come up in a few more hours... yesterday, i finally finish n submitted my work to cik lili. really hate her actually.. she is not quite up to b a lecturer in my opinion.i was sick at home when im suppose to go back to melaka to submit everything. so papa decided to send me there. found out d very same morning d lec wanted us to submit 2 research that she nvr mention that we shud b submitted b4 on d very same day!! its like.. WHATTT the FLAMINGOOO?? lucky fo me i have d most of d material to do it.took a few hours to finish n print it all out.

somehow,as d sem is rolling up, im feeling a lil afraid of it.things start to b like b4.history starting to rewind itself.my close fwens n i start to feel quite distance.n it gonna b like it will in d end (in which i really hope it will nvr be!!) which is situation will b tense..forcing me to have a new close fwens next sem. gosh.. is it me?is it them? o history just have a very sick way to play w my life?

im actually hving a headache since morning coz of d fever n body ache.but i didnt take any medication fo it. wanna stop actually. only when i really need it then i'll take it.2 days ago shaza gv me doramin.kindda afraid of taking it thou i know its rather harmless.later fo my final paper so that i can study harder then~ :P

ah well.. i think i better get back to sleep.afta fitri had kindda wake me up hours ago.need my rest b4 i stuff my face memorizing islamic art history.. *sigh*

my life is better now!! eureka!!

2008-04-20T08:26:00.002+08:00

a few days ago.. ive decided, afta storm out of d house n spending a non-quality time w mama at carrefour, i need to talk to my parents bout everything. N I DID!!

they were rather upset n shocked that i nvr told them bout my sickness until it get this worst.i know i should have, but i just dont wanna get them worried. but realise this formula:

sick - not telling parents = tension = more sick!!

n d formula will go on n on n on till it nvr stopped if i keep on shutting myself away. they've been asking too many things which i keep on avoiding. n that nite i just vent everything out. about d break up, bout my sickness, bout my clazmates, bout my work, bout my parents' behaviour that i dont like. they listen n they ask a few things. expecially bout my sickness.. afta an hour, shaza came to pick me up.i was shaking in d beginning of d conversation but as d voice stopped to crack n d words starts to go out smoothly, i poured my heart out n i calm myself down.n out w shaza really calm everything down.

nowadays, they r taking things easy w me. trying to remember that im sick.n even worst, w not much cure to help with. n also d fact i hate seeing docs is making things harder.they hardly stress me out bout anything. i know i can use this oppurtunity to use it as my advantage.. but i choose not to. i know i can only b so far to reach it.

followed shaza to search fo nuri-hunting today. we search d whole basement n yet w no luck finding his car. then suddenly, we saw him smoking outside. shaza was obviously dissapointed bout him.. fo d fact he still want to lie infront of her face. i was rather upset w nuri but this is not my prob n they need to settle things on their own.

shaza bought me an mng singlet 2 days ago n i decided to wear it today. GOD I LOOK SOOOO SKINNY!! its merely bones n skins now. i know ive been decreasing lotsa weight lately but as fo me whom seeing my own body everyday, i dont c much of d different. but i do hear everyone talking how skinny i look.im just afraid looking at my long n skeleton like fingers.haha.. but i am in d process of gaining my weight more.pray that everything got bigger later in short time yah? :P

had an interesting phone call from a new friend tonite. very interesting topics n a wonderful time laughing n chitter chatter away.huhu~

papa bought a new car.PROTON PESONA.my parents failed to tell me that until d time they asked me to accompany them to shah alam.its either they want to surprise me (which it doesnt matter coz its not gonna b mine anyway) o just they lazy to tell me n think it wasnt that important anyway. its auto n i prefer d manual 4x4 terrano much more than a sedan car.

owh owh!! im really into my new mascara now!! hahaha.. my eyelash is already curled n i bought mascara that just makes it longer.. now i SUPER SUPER LOVE MY EYES!!

my first succesful sneak out in my 22 years 7 months of my life!!

2008-04-14T05:28:00.004+08:00

i succesfully sneak out of my house last nite.. hahahha.. i know it sounds lame.i can do it all this years..d coast is always clear but i didnt want to. frixx pick me up n we went to pick up shaza n kodek.wanted to go fo shisha but it was rather by d time we picked up shaza n kodek so we went fo late supper at khulafa at sec 7. i feel like a kid again.. expecially d part where i asked fo roti kosong n susu manis but they put d susu inside d roti canai n i feel like eating hard cotton candy.d teh o ice was superb tonite until i found out there was a dead baby cocoroach inside. euuuwww!!

last friday, i had an exibition/final assesment fo my final work on fesyen design. i super hate en.nadzri now. he d reason fo most of my clazmate to hate me. demmit..

i went to c rejaie earlier in d evening. something happen n now i wanna move on. i just wanna b very normal fwens w him.everyone scolded me fo meeting him.but its ok now between me n him.

my sickness really turning worst. d tension headache n my panic attack is uncontroable already. even w d medication.i had to double up my dose but it just got me high like im flying in d sky.haha.. somehow,its fun to b really that high.

mama is really breathing down my neck. i cant stand her making decision without asking my permision. im no longer that 12 years old that u need to control.im almost 23 years old! really.. its annoying!!

all i wanted to say now is.. im at peace.really i am.i feel like some of my burden has been lift off.

my new assign...

life..without d essence of it

2008-03-23T22:40:00.008+08:00

my life is basically an empty shell now.lifeless,empty,meaningless,n useless.. d only drive to keep it goin is just assign,classes,partying,chilling,close fwens n ciggies n other stuffs that just ruining my body more..ruining this empty shell.

owh well,rather than any of u keep on listening how miserable my life are nowadays, its better i show u what i have been doing fo my assigns fo this semester.some i have been thru assessment n some just in d process to do so..

new sickness

2008-03-15T23:52:00.003+08:00

how great..
just when i start to think i can control my panic attacks to d minimum (by blocking it away), new one's come around.

"tension headache" d doc calls it. contributed by lack of sleep n too much thinking n low blood pressure.. 2 days ago i got it.its afta i hv been diagnose of it. was chilling w some fwens n it hit me like a bee buzzing around my head.i felt dizzy..i felt woozy.cant even concentrate on a single thing more than 5 secs. so i put my head to d table to ease it off.it didnt help.i fainted a few secs a few times while my head was on d table.none of my fwens notice it coz they tot i was taking a nap.

i didnt told any of my fwens this except to liz n fitri until today.liz scolded me coz not telling her.she would hv helped at that time coz she was there. but d thing is.. i dont want her o any of them to get worried anymore.while i was hving my series of panic attacks, she was there n comfort me. i know im such a hassle person to take care of.n i love them fo caring me but i felt guilty fo making them worried.

in d end, i took ponstan which usually to treat migrains to ease off my dizziness.it works. but to think i need to keep popping pills to let myself feels better is something i've been scared of all this time. my sickness is getting worst. i was joking to a fwen of mine that mayb, all of this is a result of me wishing to b dead soon. come to think of it....mayb its true.sooner o later...

my lungs is taking a tol coz ive been smoking rather heavily lately.been hving flam every mowning n im coughing out more flam every minute.i wont b surprise if my flam suddenly have some blood w it. if i try breathing heavily,breathing in more air inside my lungs, i could hear it making a slight sound from inside my organs.my health is really getting worst by d day.

i went back home yesterday. afta a month plus i hvnt been doing so. coz i was afraid to face my parents.n what i hv feared kindda came true. it shows so much by d time i reach home, i wasnt too happy bout it. so mama,being d best mother she is, knocked on my door n ask to hv a talk. i was rather panicking.i opened d door n she ask how i was, n y im not hving dinner even when its at 10pm already.i was restless.i came up w a half lie "nothing.im ok.im just tired".

that was less than half an hour i went back home.i closed d door,showing my refusal to talk more.n i almost..almost..almost hv another panic attack.i blocked it away.it worked.i gradually went to sleep.woke up 3 hours later.n couldnt get back to sleep.made myself dinner at 5am afta being restless on d bed.n sense im gonna hv another panic attack s i remembered a whole lot of things downstairs.i called fitri. he helped me calmed down.n when i did, i tried to keep myself bz.chatting,sleeping back..arrange fo rented house fo nex sem,gone out shooting,hv dinner w my parents (which kindda feels funny..we dont talk much)..surfing d net..n now,blogging it.

im actually hving another headache ever since i start hving dinner just now.i dont want to always rely on ponstan.i let it keep buzzing in my head.if n only if i just cant take it nemore, then only i will pop d pill.luckily i didnt fainted during dinner o while driving us all back home.amin!

my life so far..

2008-03-09T17:15:00.003+08:00

bout d pre-blog... none of it happen that day.its even worst...

things that actually happen that day:
finish editing d assign late morning.. had a lil sleep.. went to d library to surf some pics to finish it up but it was full.. so i had to go d cc.. but d comp there was fucking slow.. finished afta an hour..which means i was running late.went back to d library to print d pics but there was a long Q n there people was taking their own sweet time to pick which pics to print.i was starting to b impatient.when it was my turn,i was running 10 mins late by this time, 2 of d pics i needed to print couldnt b recognised b d machine.i was cursing myself from inside.fuck it..im just gonna make up an excuse to d lec later..

arrive at d class 20 mins late.. d lec lock d door n said i wait outside coz i was late.demmit...it was humiliating.. some of my fwens had to go out of d class coz they havent finish their assign.. so i kindda have some company.then i realise something.. all of them have their own file to present.i wasnt told to have one.i began panicking.the one-on-one assessment will continue afta lunch hour..

its been a fucked up day till kodek called..i ask her whether i can borrow her car fo d lunch hour to finish up everything in alor gajah.she was ok w it.. n off i went to Huan Yo to buy d file n kodak to print d remaining pics.came back n gave back d car to kodek..had a banana fo "breakfast at 2pm",spray mount everything to d papers.. n voila, run back to d studio b4 2.30pm. my name was called second last.. d lec only accepted 2 from 4 assign that i've done. ok la.. better than nothing thou.need to reshoot those 2 rejected pics n have another 2 pics on traditional n free theme to work on later.chill w my clicks fo d nite to release d tensions. didnt get to eat d sleeping pills...but i did took it d nex day.

what ive notice lately is.. im becoming to b a clubber back n too much of "having fun" lately..i self analyzed it as "trying to forget ure probs syndrome". oh well, its better than having panic attacks on daily basis.

im afraid to go back home.everytime i plan to go back, i will cancel it last minute n make other plan bout how to spend d weekend. im afraid of d questions that will come up from mama n d fact that i have to tell papa.im afraid that no one will understand n i will b blame by everyone.im afraid that they gonna do all their best to solve it without asking my permission.im afraid they will force me to c d shrink once they found out how bad my panic attack.coz i know ill start shaking once ill talk to them bout this.im afraid of many long term things that will happen afta i have a talk w them bout that incident. just thinking bout this,writing this blog,i fear fo d coming future fo me.

in a way,i've ruined most things in my life now.i know i can build myself up from it.. but i wont.thinking that im gonna ruined it back just scared d hell off of me.coz thats what i am. a walking breathing disaster.i heard my parents categorized that bout me every now n then.i know i fuck things up easily eventho i didnt mean it.n i also know d fact no one really appreciate me as much as i do to others.u cant hope much from others rite?

fitri told me to hv a positive thinking n come up w 10 things i wanna do w my life.so here goes:

put myself first in front of others
catch up w my studies n make it well
not to think too much bout everything
eat more n gain weight
stop smoking n stop "d things" that im starting on to take
start to make new plans bout my life
have a new perception
absorb more information n alert w surrounding
face my fear over everything
learn to let go of d past

we will c how this will go...

my first pre-blog

2008-03-03T20:30:00.003+08:00

tuesday 4 march 2008

today there is a pre assesment fo en.nadzri's class..im suppose to show him first fo everything that i did.. but i didnt do that in advance.n so..im just risking everything,my life, my studies, my future.. fo today.im risking it fo d fact i didnt live up all d promises that im suppose to b doing in d early sem: b a hard-working student.but as u can see, that did happen... until recently.where my life has change n im back to my old self. malina d lazy ass!!

anyway, i know en.nadzri is fucked up w me fo d fact i didnt come fo d test 2 weeks ago.n i still hvnt meet him to explain things.i was sick at that time n i had MC.

en.nadzri ask me fo that n i answered him casually.my work kindda suck but i did my best.but deep down,i know it wasnt enuff.i hope he knows d fact that im struggling my ass off.maybe i shud have told him that i have a life prob..how my life have been a screw up shit recently.. but i know he wont understand. no one would anyway.

it is fucked up today..but its ok.it will eventually move on. with ciggies n lots of caffeinated drinks.still thinking i shud have took d pills just to get myself high fo awhile..hvnt been doing it fo awhile thou.i wanna stop blaming myself fo d stupid things i have done.i dont wanna b remembered how stupid i am acually.mayb i really shud take it just to feel numb n think nothing but ... well.. nothing actually.haha.. note to others:dont worry bout me.im not addicted towards this pills.im just taking it as a .. how can u say it.. as a cure fo depression. :)

ps: fo those who dont understand what the hell im rambbling bout on this particular blog-ing, i'm doing a pre-blog which is blogging bout tomorrow as if i have lived it today.i already stated it on my previous blog.tq!

working my way up

2008-02-28T13:40:00.002+08:00

been to penang last weekend fo a claz trip.. a hell time. been organizing it myself fo d other 27 people. god.. its rough being a dependent person. but i did had a great time thou.get to know my clazmate a whole lot more.hopefully they can accept me fo who i am.

assign been a bitch to me.my laziness have finally caught up w me but im trying my best to shake them all away.its mid term already n workload is like hell.. but its ok.. i know i will finish it up on time.just hope my laziness wont consume me anytime soon!

my panic attacks been decreasing lately.but my consumption on sleeping pills is still there.not having insomnia but i couldnt get myself to sleep early.n that is a bitch since i have class and all.. running out of d sleeping pills already.. note to self: ask d doc fo more!

khalid told me something bout having a pre-blog thingy today.something bout blogging bout tomorrow's event as if u already live it. its some sort like a reverse psychology to make u brighten up ure day o something like that.i think i wanna try that on my pc first (since i cant b ol all d time) n post it on my blog later.we will c d outcome later.

yesterday my beloved cousin died.al-fatihah.. she was mentally challenge n she had fever recently.i guess she couldnt stand d pain n give up.thats what i think.which make me reminded how even a slightest hope could get u thru life.i need to remember that more often rather than sulking myself bout how pityful my life is. note to self: b more positive even when u are one!

been keeping up with this ol indie comic called questionable content for years already. a story bout a martin, who is an indie rock fan live his life w his gf dora,d doomsday cafe owner n his housemate faye, who happens to have panic attack whenever she have boys issues n always have a sassy toungue. i especially like hannelore, mother of all paranoia fo everything clean n tidy. u guys shud really read it from d beginning n i'll bet u guys will b addicted to it. it might look like a rather amature drawing on d early episode but it will gradually look better once u keep up w d story. do enjoy! http://questionablecontent.net

series o panic attack

2008-02-21T22:06:00.003+08:00

this one whole week had change everything i have work on my life 180 dgrees..

im not here to blame on anyone..but myself.im weak,selfish,self centered,no control of myself n stupid.

another side of me which been buried fo d longest time came out.n its taking d revenge of a lifetime.making me uncontrolable of my body every single day now.thou im ashame to admit it, i have panic attack.its d outcome from my obsession to control things.which i have no power to do so at d current moment.so,im panicking like a scared kid.

a few days ago i went to c a doc.n she diagnose me to meet a shrink.someone who can help me control my panic attack.i was hoping fo a prescription of anti-depression pills.but she doesnt wanna gv it to me.but she did prescript me w sleeping pills.only 2..demmit.

went to c d shrink today.told him my prob.tot he can help me.but guess what..he only told me what i know.d sum of my prob.which is not to think too much.how d hell m i suppose not to do that when everyday life is just treating m like a piece of shit?n to my surprise,he realise me of something.i have a bad relation w my parents.not a normal person would have w their parents.its not like i didnt try to make things better,its just my parents doesnt think whatever im doing is not d rite way.i just stop trying afta a whole lot of experimental trying.

5 mins ago i just had another series of panic attack.afta a tense talk w my fwen.i hate this.i cant b stress up even fo a bit now.i hate myself.i that im being weak.i hate how life is treating me.i hate that i am being punish fo what i did not done wrong.i hate me.

i think i wanna go home nex week n meet a new shrink..n pray hard that he/she prescript me w anti-depression pills this time.im tired of being me now!!!

hello people!

2008-01-21T21:15:00.000+08:00

hehhe.. i know i hvnt been blogging fo awhile.. (that is sooo a lie..its been months already!!)

anyway,i've started class already.. n i dont think i have d time to go to d cc everyday n ol to blog.so whenever i can..i'll try my best to blog.

classes have been good eventhou im w my junior..(ah well..its not d first time i did this) n things r starting to b a bit fuzzy but clear at d same time.everyone is being nice to me.i ven had to change my block to a higher-walking-climbing bt. caves stairs block.n i had to stay w other 15 people in a dorm.but i get air cond in there!! huhuhu..

last week i went to penang to visit vincent,my pet bro.it was a whole lotsa fun there.arrive on thursday n went back on sunday.stopped at kl to have a date w my bf whom i keep on missing everyday n back straight to malacca next.

i dont know what to say now..kindda in a middle of researching bout cover magazine. yes...im doing fashion this sem.woohooo!! my most fav subject.unlucky fo me i got d hardest lecturer fo it.demmit..my first assign n i got rejected.nvm..its a sign i have to work harder! hoya hoya!!

anyway guys..i'll b seeing ya later yah? take care n have a nice day!

xoxo
mel

sigh~

2007-12-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

been annoyed w my parents lately..everything i do is wrong.mayb its my fault anyway..i nvr told them those good doings i have been doing lately.so all they could see is d mistakes ive made.

i got my reasons y i do all d things i did.n im paying a big price for being who i am.o being d person they see me in,u might say. yes.. im a hypocrit.if i need to b one to keep my family safe,ill b gladly to pay d price of being one.just let me suffer alone for it,n dont let my family know bout it.

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shaza already come back from her family holiday to london n paris.n she get to see hanie! waaaa.. im so green in envy!!! i wanna meet hanie as well!!! :(

anyway,shaza bought me an "i love paris" singlet n a keychain for my hp.wee~ its so cute! ill post d pics later..

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yesterday i went ice skating w zetty..she nvr tried it b4..but she skates better than me.hahah~ i fall down on my butt twice n wet my jeans.tq zetty fo pulling n pushing me till i fall!! it was fun thou. nothing in life comes w a price rite? so afta we finally finished skating, i notice my ankle was bruised n d skin peels off.. ouch!my whole leg was practically like a goowey limb.i dont feel a thing while walking w my sport shoe.

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i really miss rejaie lately.. he is bz w his work..n i cant go out at nite too often now.hurmm.. but he promise to meet me tmrw n d day afta.yeay!! gonna spend it well~

chatting w: saffuan

when parents acting like a lil kid..

2007-12-06T20:04:00.000+08:00

its annoying when they have something that they arent really fond of each other n they keep quite bout it.this is d time when one of d their child (expecially a girl..who have a listening ear) gonna have to listen to each one of their prob..

i mean.. come on!a child arent suppose to hear o know ure parents r hving a prob!i dont wanna b oblivious but d thing is.. i dont need to know my parents is hving a fight!it bothers me more than its bothering them.

n one thing even worst..they're d one hving d fight..im d one getting scold at fo no reason.great eyh?

it seems like parents are really hypocrit in a way. they always say "dont keep things inside.let it out" "listen to other people's advices" but they nvr did all this fo themselves.

ps: im hungry n i dont wanna eat coz im mad at them.so d whole family is not eating tonite. *sigh*

chatting w: saffuan
listening to: outlandish - aicha

when parents gives rules..

2007-12-06T02:00:00.000+08:00

first n far most.. my monitor is back! yeay.. can read without trying to squint my eyes anymore.

back to d main point.
from my previous post,i said rejaie already met my parents.n everything is goin well.so ive been seeing him everyday since then.papa doesnt really like it that much.he said he afraid that im gonna b bored easily if i met rejaie every single day.but d thing is.. i wanna meet rejaie everyday! it calms me down. *sigh*

plus..im going back to itm soon.. so this is my chance to date my bf whenever i hv d chance.even when i told rejaie i will try to come back every weekend..i really dont think i could do that.papa isnt d kind of person who likes to c me come back every weekend.it kindda show to him that i dont have any work to do at itm hence im not studying at all. geez~

so..im kindda in a dilemma.i wanna met rejaie every day.papa ask me not to.rejaie's opinion is "let's follow what ure parents say".he is such an understanding person.haihh~

oh! my younger bro finally come back home.n my mazda car is still in one piece (a bit of a rack but ok la).

ps: yahoo! messanger 9.0 beta in purple!! wow..

listening to: black eyed peas - hey mama
chatting w: pT

its officially official w u baby <3

2007-12-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

thursday

i mentioned b4 that rejaie met papa (unplanned fo) already rite? well..i got d verdict already...

theoldmanlikehim!! OMG!! im so happy.. d good news doesnt stop there...he even invited rejaie to have dinner w d whole family this saturday! PAPA,d man himself,d man who always said "i want u to finish studies first",never have i foreseen this but PAPA INVITED MY BF FO FAMILY DINNER!!

friday

ok..i think mama have this expectation to have this very perfect family but i think mama is more excited than i am fo saturday.she already planned to cook her famous chicken rice n bake a cake.. oh! did i mention mama is superlove rejaie? not in a weird way, but she does super love rejaie.there's never a single day (since she found out im w rejaie) that she never ask anything bout him.there always something to ask o anything...haha! mama really is superlove my bf! :P

d dinner plan had to change to a lunch plan.coz abg syam had to work on saturday nite.

want to say sorry to nardiah who got married today n i didnt attend d event.selamatpengantinbaru!!

saturday

its TheDAY! i woke up early..n when i say early,its 10.30am early.hahaha... anyway,i went down n found out mama already start boiling d chicken to make d soup.said good morning,ate my breakfast,ate my medicine,straight to d teve.haha~ mama didnt even ask fo me to help.its like,she wanna show how much she really do superloverejaie.oh well,its her famous chicken rice n i dont wanna spoil her fun n d food. :P oh!have i mention that d cake is already in d oven?

afta helping a bit (arrange d plates n glasses) n put d food on d dinner table, went upstairs to prepare myself.took a very very long shower (i was actually play an act infront of d mirror more than having a bath.my top fav thing to do!) n wear a very laid back clothes, start calling kakanie n abg syam to know what time they will b arriving.called rejaie a gazillion times.he went fo a club last nite n came back very very late.hence,rejaie woke up late.hampess.. but he did come to d house early. :D

nothing feels ackward.no one feels like a stranger.everyone was actually laughing n enjoying themselves all thru d time rejaie came to d dinner table to d time we were all watching teve all together.he is basically like a family already.its a weird but pleasent feeling.rejaie do have that effect on people.even people who he just met.which is superkewl!!

went out to OU to repair his mac mouse then we decided to watch a movie. Hitman~

really think vin diesel shud play d roll of hitman.coz this dude looks good only when he fight but when he talks, its like.. "whattttt? (0.o)" i mean.. really.. dont u think vin diesel looks good in d poster as well??

sunday

today,i plan to go to digital mall n take back my monitor.i called on friday n they said it couldnt b fix.its more than a month already so i lost my temper n scold them.said i want it back on sunday.so went to rejaie's house to pick him up.end up watching a movie n meet his mother.she was a kewl lady!im not saying this coz she is my bf's mother.d thing is..she IS a kewlLady! :D

remembered today is d last day handphone promotion at digital mall.rejaie's mother ask him to check it out.he found one that he likes.n so he bought one fo his mother n himself.haha.. its kindda a bestday gift fo himself. :P went to d monitor place n *shock* he said d monitor is fixed already.what theee??? when i didnt bring d money only u said its fixed la? adoiii!! so all i need to do is come to digital mall tmrw to pick it up when i got d money from papa.some people r just too rude not to notify earlier things that they r supose to notify.

a lil something i wanna share.. mindblowingkiss

listening to: ashley simpson - shadow

heppie one monthyversary baby!

2007-11-28T23:11:00.000+08:00

yes..u read it rite.

rejaie met papa this morning b4 he went off to work to pick up d cakes i made for him d nite earlier.it looks promising from papa's respond..

everyone in his office love d chocolate moist cake that made to celebrate his bestday w his officemate.im really glad..

went celebrating d one month anniversary at pizza hut pyramid.which we had a splendid time from d moment he came to pick me up at my house till he drop me off.

tq baby fo d lovely evening.i love u more n more..... <3

listening to: kanye west - stronger

clinic,chocolate moist cake n anniversary...

2007-11-28T01:22:00.000+08:00

yesterday nite i couldnt sleep well coz my urin got blood in it.....again! starting to feel worried.its d third time in 3 weeks.thats is not a good thing rite?

i tried to keep it to myself.wanted to stay d whole nite coz i cant stop going to d toilet.plus wanted to go to d doc early morning.but i failed miserably to comfy pillows eventho d teve is blaring out loud music.woke up at 1pm d nex afternoon.haha..if only i know i could sleep that soundly,i would have done it sooner!

anyway,went to d clinic at 3pm.mama remind me on doing breast examination since i've been insisting on it all this while.my concerns came true....

my bloody urination is coz of infections which didnt cleared up from previous medication.n with d new medication,hopefully it could fix things up.if it didnt.. i might b hving a bigger prob around d corner.

d bad news doesnt stop there.....

from d breast examination (which is my first time!) there's a noticable lump on my right breast n a slight lump on my left breast.d doc want me to come in another 2 weeks time which prior to my next period timeline to c if its just coz of my period coming o another thing (this is when d suspence music should kick in..).

this is one of those time when u feel like u wanna know d truth but d truth just isnt something u really wanna hear.

cross ure finger n hope none of this horrible (it could b rite?) consequences will happen.

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on another matter.....

went out w shaza fo a lil tea time n gossip.well.. there was tea n gossip to pass along.. hahhaha.. normal girls stuffs.

went home n start on that 3 chocolate moist cake that i promised rejaie fo his office mates to celebrate his bestday.n i did it myself.. (yes people..i do know how to bake!)

just finished packing it up n it was delicious!!how did i know? coz i cut some piece n i lick d moist topping from d pan! hahha.. (call me to make reservation..)

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since its 1.30 am on d 28th of november 2007...

heppie one month anniversary baby!! i love u this whole month n months to come!!

chatting w: pt
listening to: stay d night - 98 degrees

heppie bestday baby!!

2007-11-25T20:04:00.000+08:00

today is rejaie's bestday..huhu..

heppie 25th bestday org tuwe! love u much n may Allah bless u everyday..

trick question..

which of d following is waaaaay cuter?

chatting w: rejaie
listening to: hujan - gundah

nu hair cut..

2007-11-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

i was bored today..as u can see from d previous post...

supposely i got d hair cut yesterday but shaza went to a salon that is erm..will burn a hole in my pocket u could say.my nu hairstyle is very short.went to d usual salon i go.n strangely,this is d first time they actually try to promote me w their stuffs. (which i didnt buy!)

i really really miss rejaie lately.hvnt meet him fo 4 days.n tmrw will make it 5 days.haihh..he have been bz working his ass off w this new project that he handle.haihh..he even got sick a few days back but i think his mind is too work out w work,his brain forgot that he is sick n d sickness just went away.hurm..dunno thats a gewd thing o not thou.

anyway,what i know is he promise d whole weekend w me.yip yip hooray!! cant wait fo weekend.hehe..

chatting w: vincent
listening to: audioslave - like a stone

(-.-)

2007-11-22T16:39:00.000+08:00

great......not only that im bored,im pist off too now!!

bloddy hell......!!!!!!

bloody bored

2007-11-22T16:31:00.000+08:00

im bloody bored im blooooody bored....im blooooooooooodyyy boooooredddddd!!!!!!

get my point??

insane w d main brain~

2007-11-19T21:38:00.000+08:00

went fo pool w shaza today. 1-1..wanted to practise more afta have been beat down devastatedly by rejaie.but soon, d eager is lost coz things started to get dull.then went to darus to chill.

come back home n have nothing to do...again.

realise i have a lot of unknown fwens in fwenster,i decide that i wanted to cancel d account n make a new one.it ask of my password which have been filled up b d auto password.click "continue w d cancellation"..

...

.....

........

"ure password is not correct"

what d flamingo?tried to fill it myself but cant seem to get d correct one.its either i forgot my own password o fwenster is stuuuuuupid!

either way,i tried to open d main page but it still re-route it to d same stuck page.cant log out coz there arent d log out button.cant log in coz its stuck in d same page.

stupid friendster.

i made a silly mistake yesterday.i think i left my ciggie pouch which contain ciggie,lighter,my ic,my money in papa's car.i dont know wether he found it yet o not.either way,im afraid of goin down.n i hvnt had dinner.n im hungry.stupid me!

chatting w:rejaie
listening to: my growling stomach

medea theater play

2007-11-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

its true what they say..even d whole day u spent w someone u love really arent enuff.

went to d orthodontist w rejaie yesterday coz he needed to thighten up his braces.then he have this craving fo burger king.but since we r around klana jaya n we r sooo lazy to go to OU, we decided to check out pyramid wether there are any.unfortunately,there wasnt (guess its not like starbucks that could pop out every 500 miles) so we went fo mr.tempanyaki.rejaie knows i like nando's way better than tempanyaki (which is y i love u more baby!) so we change plan n eat nando's.afta d whole "gedik-tepuk tampar-girlish giggle" moment, walk around n i had to go home early that nite.

n today,we went to see rajaie's mother's theater play at muzium negara.it was called medea.bout a greek mithology medeia who kill her husband's new wife n her sons to get a revenge towards her husband fo leaving her.hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!! hahah.. anyway it was okayh la.a bit confiused in d beginning but began to understand in d middle of d story.

it was suppose to b a formal wear n so i decided to wear "baju kebaye indonesia".to my surprise, everyone else was wearing jeans n shirt.come on la people! dress up to go to a theater! thats how u show u appreciate it.geez..really,this country doesnt have d aesthetic value that other country like UK have.

rejaie's lil sis n her fwens followed us n afta d play,we drive around in search of burger king since we didnt get any yesterday.haha.. looking at rejaie's face eating is like a lil kid finally enjoys getting what he always wanted all this while.

went back to my house so i can change my clothes n off we went to shah alam.drop his lil sis n her fwens at plaza masalam n we went to matahari fo a few lap of pool.i loose miserably.today was not my day fo pool....or d fact im loosing my touch? shaza!lets go n shoot some pools!! SOS SOS!! :P

missing u already baby.. :(

chatting w:shaza n teddy
listening to: nicole scherzinger - baby love

sick..

2007-11-14T21:36:00.000+08:00

yesterday i've been sick d whole day.end up d nite w a high fever.to make matter worst,it was abg syam's bestday.n my family celebrate it by having a feast of foods.as sick as i am,i joined them.but i couldnt taste most of d food that goes thru my throat.couldnt sleep well coz of d fever n d urination prob that i have been having recently.

i had d same prob last week.fever+urination prob+sore throat.went to d doc.n it all went well.got d same disease again.starting to think im infected w a strange virus o i have a mysterious disease.lets hope none of that happen aight?

promised someone to go to d curve which i totally forgot. im really sorry that someone!! u know who u are..

woke up today feeling rather energetic.d high fever gone within a nite only.but my throat really getting worst.waited fo papa to come back so i can go to d doc.promised rejaie he will stop by at subang n i pick him up n he accompany me to d clinic.

got a new set of medicine.n everything cost me RM62.bloody hell..d last time was RM53.haihh..

could only cuddle w rejaie fo a lil while coz papa had already warned me to come back early.really miss him a lot..sent him back to KTM n off im back home.

i really feel like im in d hospital today.bfast i ate nestum n during lunch n dinner mama told me to eat porridge.n while i was eating d medicine just now,i accidently ate an extra pil.quickly i spit it out.put it back in d plastic case.n it drenched in yellow.haha...

look what i did to my desktop..aint it cuteeee?

chatting w: rejaie n teddy
listening to: jessica simpson- these boots are make fo walking

melyna d big dumb idiot..

2007-11-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

OMG!! tonite is totally d nite when u wanna bang ure head to d wall gazillion times n stab ureself on d stomach fo hving a karma that is sooooooooooo bloooooooooody bad!!

it was d same day as any other day.bored n missing rejaie.no one to go out with so planned d nite to go out w rejaie shaza n her sisters n kazens.

it was a fine fun filled laughter all around at starbucks pyramid.then we realise its 11pm so i need to send rejaie back coz i dont wanna come back home too late.thats when d fucked up thing happen.

d car key dat supposely w d house keys n all went missing. only d car keys....... (-.-)

i tried to retrace my steps w rejaie all over pyramid n found nothing.to make things worst,pyramid is closed already n i cant search d shops i went in.cant find any way so we ask d security to help.asking their opinion.afta some thoughts n dissapointed that we didnt found d car keys, i decided to call papa to straighten things up.

got d lifetime angry-scold-dissapointment talk from papa.which i had figured much coming from him.

end up w shaza went to get d spare car keys at my house while i wait at d pyramid w rejaie.ask them to go back home afta that n apologize a gazilion times fo troubled them so much tonite.

since there wasnt a spare alarm,papa just open d door quickly w d car key n try to figure out how to shut d alarm off.while he was doing this,i was beside him, n this car drove n stop at d back of d car.he was kindda curious. (well,i know it seems like we r trying to steal d car but "we" r like me "a girl" + papa "an elderly" = rob a car? no way!)

afta about 15mins of torturous alarm banging my ears,it finally shut off.n we drove back home.

i got d silent treatment from papa when we reach home.which is also expected coming from papa. *sigh*

i pity my bf fo hving d most lousy weekend in his life n had to bear tonite w d lost car key case.not to mention he had to calm me down n listen to me babbling.im really sorry baby.i love u more fo being there fo me.n care fo my probs.i thank u baby.

i wanna say thanx to shaza as well fo helping me tonite by sending papa to pyramid to help me out.n being there when i need her d most.really really grateful fo hving this guys around.i love u lalinks!

chatting w: shaza
listening to: scream - timberland ft kerry hilson n nicol scherzinger

sowry (^.^)

2007-11-11T23:56:00.000+08:00

hehe.. i know i have been out of d radar lately.i have my reasons.n d most obvious one is...

my bloody monitor gone colorless.. which make things hard to see n read.

rite now im using a backup monitor which is broken too.. d screen is blurr.. while waiting fo my monitor to b fixed. (which is taking a rather long time..)

whatever it is, here r d summary of what happened since raya till today:

raya was great,went back to tganu n i drove most of d time.abg syam, kakanie n irfan joined us during d first day of raya.stayed till d third of raya.n continue raya-ing in subang.
i have my freedom to go out at nite nowadays,which i have overused it a lil n get d scolding of d lifetime from both my parents.
zul is so bz w a lot of things in utm so he wont b coming back till december.gosh.. i miss hving him around.. i miss my mazda car too!! come back la zul~!!
i have a new bf now n his name is ahmad rejaie arbee.shaza n hanie like to call him "mad" coz rejaie is a hard word to say. its easy la guys! ree-jaa-ii... tada!
i have a couple of job offers which i had to turned down coz my dad doesnt want me to work. *sigh*
itm gonna start at d end of this december.feeling kinnda anxious n scared n happy at d same time.haha~ feels like a kid anticipating fo big present.
owh, did i say how much i love rejaie? hehe <3

chatting w: pt
listening to: hot - avril lavign

facial is a bitch!

2007-10-08T20:30:00.000+08:00

ok..i had 4 hours of sleep only last nite.in d middle of it i was forced to wake up coz papa dont know how i put his medicine in d medicine box like i use to. *sigh* if i wasnt around,mayb..just mayb, d people in this house will go nuts!

i had to send papa to work coz i wanted to use d car at 2pm.i tot afta sending him,i could get some more shut eyes n wake up at 1pm. i was wrong~

i had an accident a few months back while doing a drift (which apperantely it didnt execute d way i want it hence my first accident in my life!). d kesas people who was "helping" (as if!) us afta d accident apperantly ask my insurance to insure d damage (which didnt happen!) that cause by d accident.n we got into trouble coz we didnt told d insurance there was an accident b4. well,to make d story short, i had to do some papers with kurnia insurance if not we will get sued.which fo some reason (argument w papa is really a pain in d ass), it took me 3 n half hours just to make a silly statment,photostate some papers n make a sketch of where d accident had happen.

ps:never n i mean NEVER listen to other people say bout things u dont know.not even d police o d highway patrol guys o d authority.they sux!

fo example:

police - i got into d accident,i did not caused any damaged except fo my car n i got saman $300 fo it!
highway petrol people - i didnt not damage d curb o d metal thingy on d side of d road,n they photographed at d wrong crash site n say that was where i crashed n ask fo money to fix it.

insurance - coz i didnt report fo d accident, they wanna fine me $1000 n pay myself to d kesas people fo d "damage".

what d flamingooo ritee??

anyway, afta rushing back home to take a shower n head to kurnia to send d forms,n send some stuffs to papa's office, i finally get to zents fo facial.

they were nice people.great skin,chinese n a lot of "u hv to take care of ure skin,ure eyes is beautiful,so u must want to have a beautiful skin".a bunch of ass kissing people i might say.

whatever it is,i already payed fo d treatment so i might as well go on w it.first they cleanse,then come d toner...

.... then come d extraction. (o_o) they use needles to pick my acne,blackhead n whitehead out.i was literally cursing n cursing n more cursing (..inside) coz it was blaaady painful!!!i even shed some tears.my hands was grabbing my pants as if my pants could miraclously turn to "mr.pants" n kick d girl's ass.i think it lasted fo half an hour of torture till she said "ure skin is very sensitive.it is red now.ure skin is actually dry outside n very oily inside". of coz it turn red!! u were pinching n poking my face w needles!what did u expect? (O.0)

but being as nice as i am, i could just say yes n okie n oh!

then came d masks..wah.... it was like heaven when she put d masks on me.there were 3 layers of diff masks.plus this scoop spoon which is cold as ice massaging my face.then she left me there..

.. n i dooze off.haha.. need i to mention i was lack of sleep n it was soothing w d mask on n they were blazing this kindda earthy music while im under an air cond plus d light was dimmed? ngeee... (^.^)

i didnt even realise she came in until she was washing my face off.she said d redness on my face has cooled off. *pheww!*

then came d "lets talk about continuing d treatment" talk..which i wasnt bother to hear much coz it cost around $698 fo 5 sessions.i know my dad wont happy to hear that.but fo some reason,i hv faith fo this treatment eventho they were happy to b payed torturing my skin.so mayb..just mayb ill talk to my dad n beg fo money. :P

afta picked up papa,break fast, went to kodak to print some pics from zul's graduation day.it cost me $21 to print it out!! *sigh*

im so low on cash now.need work.mayb i will take that job offer.no matter papa will like it o not.hmmm..

listening to: the rain outside of my window

i will always b here fo u~

2007-10-07T11:49:00.000+08:00

today..supposely..i went fo that facial at mid val.but when i arrive there,i just remembered i needed to do an appointment first n there wasnt any opening fo today.hahha..so i end up following kakanie (my sis in law) shopping. she bought 2 shirt fo papa. 2 boxers n a sock fo her husband.n i end up wasted my money again by buying a hairband fo 20 bucks.haha...mama will b pist off.but its just wayyy tooo cute!! n i nvr had a pinkblack hairband b4!!

during break fast,mama had cooked nasi himpit n lontong. usually my mom cooked this during raya only.but bcoz fo some reason papa was hving this wild craving to eat it, so we r hving it early! hahha.. it was so tasty thou! plus d sirap bandung.. :-P~

tonite something weird happen..me n papa was downstairs watching d teve.. there's this sound..

BROOOMRMMROOBOBOMOBOOO~!!!!!!!

its like very scary then i remember my mom was upstairs.i called her up n shouted asking her to come down.she ask whats up.i was like "dont u hear that??" she said it was just a wind.

(0.o) that was one scary wind!!

chatted w hanie.. n she gave me this song from ungu - kekasih gelap

Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orangpun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu sedalam dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

Ku tahu ku takkan selalu ada untukmu
Disaat engkau merindukan diriku
Ku tahu ku takkan bisa memberikanmu waktu
Yang panjang dalam hidupku

Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
Yang kucari selama ini dalam hidupku
Dan hanya padamu kuberikan sisa cintaku
Yang panjang dalam hidupku
Hidupku...

Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orangpun yang tahu

Ku mencintaimu sedalam dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

Ku mencintaimu sedalam dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orangpun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu sedalam dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku
Kekasih gelapku...

*ps: its how i felt nowadays*

ciggies smoked: 2
chatthing w: hanie n saffuan
listening to natasha beddigfield - i bruise easily

hershey's!!

2007-10-06T10:24:00.000+08:00

didnt do much today.had to take care of irfan while my sis in law n mama went out fo more shopping.mama bought some praying clothes n 2 baju kurung.which according to her,one of it was fo me.i hated d color n even d design.so i said i dont want it.i told her b4 that i want to choose my own.but i did say over n over i dont need any more baju kurung coz im just gonna wear it once awhile.n there's a lot in my closet already.

ok..actually i was kindda moody.i dont know it was d pms o was it d fact that i was left bored at home o d fact i couldnt go fo that facial that i planned today. *sigh*

but still,i hate it when my mom treat me like im 12.i hate it when i shop w her n she make me look like a kid who needs approval to buy stuffs.thats y its really rare that i shop around w her.but if she is not around to shop with,i wont get that much money to shop alone. *sigh*

either way,its a total loss fo me.n thats y i dont have that much clothes.n to think my mom always complain y m i wearing clothes that r small fo me. "errr.. mayb it shrank already over d years coz im getting taller,mom?"

later on d evening i went out w kakanie to buy some kueh fo break fast.i just noticed d bra i bought 2 days ago was.... UGLY! it make my boobs look pointy.demmit..
n i already cut d price tag n d receipt is gone.i cant refund it back.double demmit~

somehow,i feel more moody n bored to hell afta break fast.went out to carrefour to buy a shampoo.fo d first time every,there wasnt any parking. (-.-)
so i went to guardian at ss15 n its jam packed too. (-.-*)
frustrated,i went to watson.thank god a car was going out as i turn d corner.whats up w everyone coming to subang tonite anyway??

then somehow,while waiting fo d Q to pay fo d shampoo,out in d corner of my eyes....

HERSHEY'S KISSABLES!!

its like..love on first sight.....its calling my name... "eat me ...eat me.."

n so i pick it up n pop some in my mouth.n it was like....HEAVEN! *twing twing* ;)

all my moody-ness gone away.all my trouble is just a thing of a past.hahha...

listening to: nicole scherzinger - what u like
chatting w: lucacio

sandal shopping~

2007-10-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

had a shoe shopping date w shaza today.she pick me up at home n off we go to pyramid.

i told her im not in d mood fo those fancy looking shoes that im just gonna wear during raya only.i want something that is comfortable n can suit fo any event.

d search ended at this sport shop beside d nose shop which i cant remember d name.in there they had a brand name ipanema.which i remembered gisele budchen designed.wow~ to think d model's pride n joy sandal brand in on my feet! hahha.. i can always step over d model everytime i walk~ :P

afta i bought that sandals.. i suddenly have this anxiety attack that my mom will kill me coz i didnt buy d sandals that she ask me to.so i began to look around n found that im short on cash fo d sandals that i found it rather ok lah to go fo raya.haha..how unlucky me~

listening to: mocca - me n my bf

shooping again~

2007-10-04T23:03:00.000+08:00

mama needed to buy some clothes fo irfan (my nephew) n papa fo raya.n i needed a new sandals.

instead..i bought this buffing cream to make my nails shiny-shiny (like d one they always use at a manicure n padicure shop) fo 30 bucks n some bras.hahhah.. mama bought papa 2 shirts n 2 pants while fo irfan 2 shirts n 1 pants.

couldnt find any sandals that i love thou.its like its either too "mak cik" o too ugly.hahha..but mama bought one that she liked.im still thinking wether to wear sandals o shoe.w heels o flat.coz all im comfortable wearing now is just flip flop.n i dont think mama would love d idea im going around fo raya in flip flop.ill shop tmrw la~

listening to: hujan - pagi yg gelap

to d hospital again..

2007-10-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

today papa need to do his laser eye operation.had to b there b4 8am.so abg syam stayed over n send us to PPUM.d terrano car was having a slight prob w d break lights.

i was so so sooo sleepy.n PPUM always put this rather nice but kindda small chairs fo people who can sit comfortably.i call that chair "my second bed" haha...
d operation last around an hour only.it went well but papa said he cant c things that r too bright coz it hurts his eyes.we quickly grab a taxi n off back home.

i remembered i said to mama "lets do manicure today!" at d hospital.i was afraid she really wanted to go coz i planned to sleep d evening away.

i won! i get to sleep fo 2 hours.then off to bazaar ramadhan.had ayam percik,ayam madu,lamb leg,taufu fa,apam balik n melon drinks.but no nasi beriyani gum! :( sob sob.. they closed d stall b4 i get to buy it.

afta maghrib,i slept again. (i think i can b fat like this.yesssss~!!) but it was disturbed by mama.couldnt sleep back so i made my window function like mac apple.hahah..

pizza again..

2007-10-01T20:25:00.000+08:00

got scolded last nite by mama coz im not as eager bout fasting month like she is.haihh~

pT tried to woke me up today.which it didnt succeed coz i continue sleeping again till 1.30pm.it was raining n my mr.blankie is too damn comfortable to resist.didnt have much to do so i went downstairs to play ps2.up until....

....*tit tiit teeet* a msg came thru.fariz ask me out fo pizza.quickly i said yes n get change. :P

pizza hut in subang parade is getting terrible.d workers r working slow.keep on ignoring people who wanted to order.n d order came late.me n fariz was really hungry.which made it look like both of us kindda not in d mood to talk a lot.which lead to... boredome. he was kindda boring anyway.

r working guys boring to begin with?o is it just fariz?o its d fact d pizza place is d reason that made everything seem out of touch?

whatever it is,its a boring date.enuff said.

listening to: john mayer - not myself

the sims~

2007-10-01T02:52:00.000+08:00

i wanna talk here bout a game named THE SIMS.

ive been playing it since 2 weeks now.every nite.i dont have a life.yeah..i know!
been trying to get d main character to purpose a guy is hard! but tonite's game ive accomplished:

an old woman n a young woman got married.
2 african american guy kissing each other,making out, but sadly i cant seem to let them get married.
a sim accomplished so much n nearly finish his hunt of work.one more step n he is CEO!
my house is getting bigger n nicer.ive thrown out all d ugly n cheap furniture.
i tried to b friends w an old guy who is annoyingly hard to talk with.
the bed n breakfast place is with a lot of stuffs now.
my house caught in fire twice.

well,thats about it fo tonite's game.there is still tmrw! heheheh~

chatting w: shaza

very very lazy sunday

2007-09-30T19:36:00.000+08:00

woke up today n feeling damn lazy.its 1pm n i wish i wanna sleep more.i could..if it wasnt bcoz of this gastrick of mine.so i had to miss another fast.drank nestum w medicine.

met a new fwen today.thru skype.a 17 years old gal.surprisingly,i had a great time talking w her.her name was sasha.talk like an adult w big dreams.got me to thinking,o m i d one wit childish dreams?

wanted to go to cyber n meet azlin.but feeling rather lazy.plus,papa wanted to use d car fo awhile.called azlin to conform but she got other plans w her family.oh well,nex time then.

opened my email n i received one that said i was offered a job that i applied at jobstreet.com.wow! finally!! been waiting fo anyone to read my resume there.told papa bout it.but somehow,i have a feeling he wasnt too happy with it. *sigh*

which lead me to d Q

"to work o not to work?to fill my needs to find some money o to just worry bout family matters?"

we will c how d matter goes.. off i go to carrefour~

listening to: justin - lovestoned/i think she knows
chatting w: hanie

d trip to johor~

2007-09-29T20:25:00.000+08:00

yesterday
shaza asked me to follo her to johor 2 days ago.n we planned to meet some people there at nite.coz we plan to stay fo a nite only.when d day arrived,shaza pick me up at home n we head to her house to pack some stuffs.

afta a few hours of waiting..... n a trip to shah alam mall.... d trip was canceled.it ended up with her mother went back to johor with her aunty.

oh well..nvm la.atleast i bought a nice shirt at shah alam mall.hehe.. n we planned to go out w nuri that nite.i can wear my new shirt! yeay~

went to d curve to watch skinwalker.the party was me,shaza,nuri,kodek,syafiq n nenok.while waiting fo d movie,we went fo a lil foosball.

teamA - malinaandkodek
teamB - shazaandnuri

team A won! huhuhu..yeay yeay.. we were laughing,shouting,clapping n jumping. others was staring. as if we care! haha..

d movie was boring.it wasnt as thrilling as it shud b in d poster.WHAT A FAKE!

then we head fo makbul at ttdi fo late supper.i already had gastrick b4 we arrive there,so i dont have any appetite.call up fariz to meet us up there. *r u heppie now that u've meet fariz,shaza?*

afta more laughing n shouting n more double laughing, we head home.its really tiring but i couldnt get any sleep since my stomach is still screaming of pain.so i plan to watch a movie so i can dooze off easily.

movie choice of d nite : janganpandangbelakang

i heard it was suppose to b a very very scary movie.i had my doubts coz its "malaysian horror".n i was wrong! i was actually awwed by how d malay movie had improved over d years.

but..... i didnt watched it thru d end.my eyes already blinking n blinking (u know ultraman when his power is running low,his light is blinking?) n i had to shut it off b4 i really dooze off to lalaland.

today
couldnt sleep soundly coz of my stomach.woke up n saw kodek already straightening her bed.shaza is still sleeping.nenok was suppose to come at 8 in d morning.n its already 12pm.haha..

we were suppose to pick him up..n afta 4 hours later,we did.haha.. me n shaza bought mcd. (i hv gastrick remember?) n watched d rest of cd one of last nite's movie.shaza drove me home b4 taking a lil detour.

shaza got her new black crv car today! wah.. d smell of new leather seat.. we had a lil drive around b4 she send me home.n i found out kakanie n ifran is at home.d others had fast breaking n i head fo my room.

listening to:avant ft nicole scherzinger - lie about us
chatting w: saffuan

hairspray!!!!

2007-09-28T00:27:00.000+08:00

today i watched hairspray!!! yeay!

watched it w shaza n marsha.n d movie is fun!!! we had a great sit at d back.n ironically,most people is sitting on d right side.n were d only people who are sitting on d left side.hence,we can do/laugh/talk whatever we want.even better,there was no one infront of us,so we use d opportunity to stretchen our legs.

d movie was histarically funny.d songs was catchy n easy fo d ears. (yes people,hairspray is some what like a musical movie.it is originally from a musical theater show anyway) johntravolta is a woman (edna turnblad)! a really big woman!!hahah.. not to mention tracy turnblad's (nikkiblonsky) mom n wife to wilbur turnblad (christopherwalken)!! n zacefron (link larkin) is super cute in here.dont know wether its his ala-superman hairdo o he is just too cute to b true.i didnt notice brittanysnow was playing amber von tussle.but i have a feeling i saw her somewhere b4.n my old time crush jamesmarsden (corny collins) is in d movie too!still d macho looking guy.queenlatifah (motormouth maybelle) look 10kg less n michellepfeiffer (velma von tussle) is sizzling hot even in her middle agea.amandabynes (penny pigleton) doing was she does best,which is looking dumb.still love her thou.its more like a journey of tracy about racism.there's even that "N" word that african american hate stated more than 10 times in this.overall,it a thumbs up movie to watch.

shopping again!

2007-09-26T03:46:00.000+08:00

woke up today.n i heard this....

"kaklien,bgn.pg anta papa gie keje" - in malay
"kaklien,wake up.send papa to work" - in english

its 7.30 in d morning.seventhirtyinthemorning! n i only had my shut eye at 4 last nite.i even skip sahur just to get more shut eyes.kindda moody but i think its better to shut my mouth b4 it start to come out things that arent supposely b out from kranky old me.

afta sending papa,my mom drop a bombshell.

"kaklien,ari nie kite gie shopping baju raye kayh?" - in malay
"kaklien,were going fo shopping raya today kayh?" - in english

i almost twitch my eyes afta hearing that.luckily d shopping event gonna be later on noon.so i got around 2 hours of sleep b4 mama woke me up again n i have to get ready.got moody again but afta thinking its fo shopping....nah! *i hate people disturbing my sleep.let alone a last minute request/plan*

i didnt plan what i wanna buy.mayb a few shirts,a pants,n a shoe.but d prob is....i dont know what kind of shirt i want,o which color of pants i need o shoe's wit heels o flat.

so i went fo window shopping fo a few hours while my mom bought her stuffs.

in d end of d day,afta a lot of frustration of "lookbigevenfosizesmallonmybody" or "ihatethatcoloreventhothedesignisawesome" or "demmitthisdressisforsomeonewhodohavebreast" or "thislookcutebutitsnotme" or "kaklien,thisonetoosmall/sexy/wide/idontlikeyouwearthis", i only bought 2 shirt,a bangle,a skarf n a blanket.

u get what i mean?how problematic it is when ure body is out of shape?
outofshape=skinnyandtall

n to think most of my fwens do want to have a body like mine.sheesh...how i wish i have a slightly bigger body rite now.

my energy afta shopping is like 0.8% afta d shopping spree.d fact of lack of sleep n no sahur really contribute a lot to that.plus d fact im shopping w my mom who make me look like a 12 years old who still need her mummy's permission to buy anything.

went to carrefour nex fo a lil groceries.energy is like 0.2%.

need i to mention that i had to pick up my dad afta that?how i got to drive there n back is pretty amazing.oh,i nearly had an accident w a kancil otw to pick up my dad.nearly become a crash test between terrano n kancil face to face.nearly! *tq tq..i am a great driver*

once magrib is blarred out on d teve,i ate my food n n thank god i still survive to eat this delicious food. *o mayb d fact im damn hungry made d food irrisistable?*

went up stairs..pray..tot i wanted to lay my head fo awhile.end up sleeping till 10pm.i think i woke up coz i was stunned i fall asleep.i think la...

abg syam came by fo awhile to borrow my camera.couldnt get back to sleep.so i went downstairs n played ps2 till 3.30am.hahhhaha..so much fo feeling moody fo less sleep.

ps:did i mention how much im in love w my new blanket? its damn soft n comfy.

counted ciggie fo today: 0

listening to: paris hilton - nothing in this world
chatting w: hanie n shaza

when hanie went away~

2007-09-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

yeah..afta countless days of..errr.. counting *hehe*,today is d day. THE DAY!

woke up early.wore my white baju kurung. *i have nothing appropriate to wear goddammit*
send papa to work coz i need to use d car.need to go to shaza's house n drive from there to KLIA.

meet hanie's family n bf, ezrin at d airport.her parents is following her to london.we had a blast just laughing n talking crap. *well,its gonna b d last time us 3 gonna spend fo months b4 hanie come back*

then .... suddenly... "the flight to london at 12pm is now open for boarding..."

wow,till that announcement,i still dont believe hanie is REALLY gonna go.as in really reallllly going!

everyone started to cry.expecially when hanie is hugging every each one of us one by one.i tried to hold it back.really tired not to shred any tears.........

....but it just fell n my voice just crack when hanie hugged me n i was about to give some advices.

"hanie,jgn lupe taw.ol ari2.jgn lupe taw.pasang skype.jgn lupekan kiteorg taw.promise taw."

haha..it sound funny now when i remembered back what i said to her.it sounds like a useless advice.but i know hanie.she keep her promises.. :)

afta waving..n sobbing..n seeing her going thru d security thingy.. i look back.her bf was crying a bit too.everyone gonna mish hanie afta this.

then we bought some chocolate b4 heading out.it was yummy... *i broke my fast.so sue me*

then head to d bowling alley afta picking up marsha.i didnt join in coz im wearing baju kurung..

rush to get my dad at d office to send him home coz maghrib is near.i head to shaza's place to pick up d car.but beforehand,i had some meal there fo awhile.

waiting fo hanie to log in n ask away how is things there....

*ill post d pics later*

ps:d stupid petronas mas that i had posted earlier is a fake.wasted my 4 bucks credit to call them.demm assholes~

counted ciggie fo today: 2

listening to: fly fm

last day w hanie~

2007-09-18T23:03:00.000+08:00

today is d last day to chill w hanie. *sob sob*

early morning
i had to send papa to work again.d last check up that he did yesterday didnt gv d result that we hope fo.papa need to do a laser treatment at his cornea (eye) coz somehow there is some cluttered blood in there.thats some of d info that i heard.i dont dare to ask anything.im afraid to know.apperantly its there coz of his diebetic problem.so he cant see much properly nowadays.

afternoon
afta an hour n half of sleep (again!not enuff sleep last nite) hanie call to wake me up.took about half an hour to even wake up.then pick up hanie n off we go to subang parade.she needed to buy some other last minute shopping b4 she went off to UK tmrw.shaza tag along.n we ended d trip w a manicure n padicure at creative nail salon.i only did pedicure coz i wanted to do manicure when raya is near later.

evening
send hanie home n chill at her place.we talk n take pics w her new apple book.had a lot of fun just chill n reminicing d past.really gonna mish her much. *gosh* then i sent shaza to honda center near my dad's office while on d way to pick him up.break fast w lotsa fooooood.

nite
suddenly i have a craving w McD's sundae chocolate.ask hanie wether she wanted some.bought it n send one to hanie's place.did some terawikh w mama. (goody good girl eyh?)

needed something from my digi no n a msg came thru.

"Pengumuman dari PETRONAS MAS, TAHNIAH SimCard anda bertuah memenangi undian hadiah cek RM14000.Sila hubungi telefon *********.Terima Kasih"

i really jump up n down screaming at mama to tell her bout it!!i dont know wether it was true o not.but its still an exciting news.gonna try calling d no later in d morning.

have u ever tried eating mentos ice then eat ice cream sundae next? surely u gonna have tongue freeze afterwards!! haha.. i just had done d experiment.

days hanie going: tmrw

counted ciggie fo today: 2

listening to: fly fm
chatting w: pt

foood foooood n more foood!!

2007-09-15T19:13:00.000+08:00

yesterday
woke up n had nothing to do.so i suggest to mama to do a hair treatment n facial.n we did!use d hair treatment thingy that i just bought few days back (d stuff really works!).applied it at mama's hair first.waited around half an hour n wash.then i blow dry her hair.she actually have a nice hair.but she always tie it back so her hair is getting thinner.

dhino was suppose to arrive subang today.pick him up at carrefour then we went to seksyen 3 McD to join shaza n d geng to chill.sami was gonna go back to penang at 12am.so its like a farewell chill out.there was syafiq,joe,nenok,mukhriz n kodek as well.waited fo che mok to pick up dhino then head home like an F1 driver w terrano coz its late already.hahaha~

today
mama woke me up early today at 7.30am.she said i have to send papa to work.ever since he got that new medicine,he's been hving d headache.hmm..need to check up d doc again later.afta sending papa to work,mama ask if i can accompany her to go to d wet market.so i did....with a face like i just got a heavily sedatif shot.(slept late la last nite).d first thing i did was when i arrive home is jump at d sofa n zzZZZZZZzzz~

woke up n realise its already 2.30pm.wow!i cant even remember i walk upstairs to my room to continue sleeping.took a bath.n ask around whoever wanna go out.unfortunately everyone have their own business.so i spend d evening reading bleach on d net.then went out n pick up papa.he suggested that we buy some "kueh" fo breaking of d fast.end up he bought $15 of yong taw foo! adoi..this old guy la.he just take take take n just realise its a lot afta its already been cooked.haha.. then we bought some cha kueh.mama was quite surprise of d amount of d food that we bought.coz she already cooked nasi bukhari.hahaha..

but i couldnt eat all those amazing food fo breaking of d fast ...y?

bcoz im not fasting today!hahah.. im in those month when women bleed so much n nvr die!women rules!hahah~ n d fact i ate my super duper mee curry at 4pm.

menu fo fast breaking:dates,nasi bukhari,yong taw foo,che kueh,pineapple,tapai ubi,dragonfruit juice.

ok..now i need to go n send my mom fo terawikh.later guys!

days hanie going: 4 days

counted ciggie fo today: 2

listening to: fergie - big girls dont cry
chatting w: no one

tiring day~

2007-09-12T23:48:00.000+08:00

last nite i couldnt shut my eyes so i end up watching a whole bunch of YOU TUBE! till 6.30 am.

afta a few hours later,hanie called to wake me up at 9am.i already promised her to accompany her fo more shopping.went to kl central to exchange d bag that she bought yesterday coz it got a lil dent infront that she didnt notice b4.then head to mid val fo lunch.demm hard to find a parking la wei!!we choose to eat at manhattan fish market.d servise was kindda sucky.d food was either salty o more salty.haha.. need i to mention d lime juice?hmm..

then afta a lil shopping at guardian,we went to c hanie's mom at mount kiara fo a while.afta that we head to taipan,usj.hanie needed a new spex.oh!n i saw jaclyn victor at the parking lot.she is just a friendly person.always smile first.a symptom of "yeah-i-know-u-know-me" person i think.had tow ait fo hanie to recover afta removing her contact lense fo eye check up,so we head to d nearest mcd to chill fo awhile.

really surprise w d kids nowadays.they look way much cooler than how we,in d old days(ehem!only a few years back.im not THAT old!) were b4.with their hp,ciggie,kewl shirt,hang out place *mcd,darus,etc*.i realise my days is d hip hop golden years.these days is more like rock-ish golden days.

head home n all i want badly is........ MY BED! change to singlet n pants.... BOM! zzZZZzzzZZZZ kroh kroh~

around 8pm my mom woke me up.fariz called to conform bout going out.n we did! went to McD SS15 then went around bangsar fo a spin.

b4 i forget.. HEPPIE FASTING TO ALL MUSLIM!!

"n one more thing..to those i hvnt text yet,i already change back my number to my old maxis no.those who know..good!those who doesnt..msg me to know it! (by any means! eg: Y!,my old dg no,myspace,friendster,etc) :P"

days hanie going: 7 days

counted ciggie fo today: 5 only.no packs fo tmrw!n tmrw is d beginning of fasting.

listening to: my phone
chatting w: dhino on sms

anger management

2007-09-11T19:33:00.000+08:00

i spent d whole nite last nite in a moody/suicidal situation until i fell asleep.
it feels like everyone considered as lying to me s d best option rather than telling me d truth.giving me sweet words of lying "sowry-ness".its just a bullshit that they tot i would forgive n forget fo what they did.really big mistake...

n d worst part is,i just let it happen over n over again.i kept it in that im angry fo what they did.i kept it all inside.coz i dont want people to c me as one of those emotional person.even better,i dont think they even know i could feel hurt n fucked up.coz outside,im those cheerful-crazy-fun person that everyone know.really people..i bleed!!

anyhow,im a chicken wuss fo not confessing that im upset w others.a real jerk to myself fo torturing with what i have to deal alone.n mayb an idiot fo hving a split personality inside.

i need to change.i need to change.i need to change.
i dont want to b bullied again.i dont want to b d one people laugh at behind my back.i dont need bullshit n crappy reason from others.i dont need to b d one who always following behind other people's back.i need to b d leader.i need to let my voice out to b heard.i need to make people know that im not one of those person people want to fucked w.mess w me will only mean messing w ureself.i need to b d bitch sometime.i need to not always listen to other people's request n none of my own.i need to b MALINA LISA ABDULLAH!!

shopping spree.. \ (^-^) /

2007-09-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

my weekend was filled w shopping shopping n shopping!! hahah..

saturday
kakanie (my sis in law) came by around 2pm n we went to kl fo a lil shopping fo raya. yeah yeah.. i know.ramadhan is not around yet but i already prepared fo it.hahha.. its all mama's n kakanie's idea! i just go along.who wanna refuse free shopping rite? :P
went to "semua house" somewhere along sogo there (im bad in directions).afta d second shop that we went in,we already bought something.haha..d theme of this year is "ala-ala jubah warne warni".mine is blue ocean,kakanie is teqoise,mama is purple. (my god!we could be call "the jubah rangers"!!) kakanie bought another 2 more clothes while im hving trouble finding clothes.its either it fits perfectly on d body but its short on d hand o vise versa. *sigh* afta mamak-ing at kl,went back home.

sunday
went out w khalid.n i shop again.this time,a collar polo shirt at padini.then went to starbucks fo some drinks n ciggie.got no where else to go so we head to summit to shoot pool.hahaha!im addictive to it already.. but i lost to khalid. 3-2. demmit.. but im improving.yeay! ^-^

today
okie,today i dont really do d shopping thingy but i did followed hanie while she shop around!haha.. she wanted a red nike shoe.we call it "konon-konon mcm kasut straight but its not n d tande correct is red".haha..owh yeah!did i mention hanie has managed to make me waste 5 minutes of my life by being humiliated saying to a chinese guy "a'kum! err..is this a chinese house o a malay house?".haha..then we ate lunch at chillies which hanie's fwen,hanis joined us.me n hanie order a really humangous burgur which we didnt realise that until it arrive on d table.we stared on it fo about 5 minutes to figure out how to eat.haha..

as predicted,i couldnt finished.hanie left some of her's.n hanis almost finished her salad.here are some of d pics.

my half eaten burgur..

even hanie is struggling to finish it up!

hanis who wanted d salad only n put aside d chicken..

mayb i shud just stick to salary from now on.hahah~ kidding!

then something happen as we was walking to d car.i saw someone in d car infront of our's,but its not moving even an inch.i stared at "d lady".but still..d same!then i just found out that its a head from a manicane.which make things even scarier than what i thought at first.

scary ok!!who is not scared by this is too egoistic to confess!!haha..

days hanie going: 9 days

counted ciggie fo today: 4

listening to: the veronicas
chatting w: nenok

hanie's farewell dinner

2007-09-06T23:51:00.000+08:00

promised d gals (hanie n shaza) to go to salon to do our hair fo tonite's dinner.end up hanie went out e her bf fo lunch n couldnt make it.nvm la.could meet her later on.went out w shaza.ate anw w her,syafiq,mukhriz n sami.then head to salon. $30 fo shampoo n blow at 'A Cut n Above'.demm expensive.i think if u give me 30 minutes ill manage to do my own hair. (a lesson to b learn here) then went back to get ready.hanie came by to get ready fo make up.

went to 'the apartment' at d curve to have dinner w her college fwens.couldnt remember most of her fwen's name except fo bella.hahah.. im really bad in remembering people's name that i barely knew.started d dinner around 10pm.most of d waiters is south african.kindda confused fo awhile which country i was from time to time. :P but its ok.they were friendly.d food was nice but they serve it in a small propotion but expensive.i had 'chicken in d bag' n watermelon.dont start thinking dirty stuffs people! haha.. chatted away afta dinner.shaza look hot tonite! w her temporary curls.nuri must b d luckiest guy!! hanie look sizzling too.while i look like a 'mak cik'.hahah.. well,here r some of d pics from tonite's dinner.

impak maksima

2007-09-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

didnt do much today..woke up at noon.knowing that im fasting,so no food in mind.sleep back at 3 till 4.30pm.it was a hot day so i end up chatting away.break my fast n had a shower.then abg syam ask wether i wanted to follow watch impak maksima.since i had no plan whatsoever,i agreed.incase any of u didnt know,impak maksima is d first malaysian movie about drifting.n drifting is all about controlling d car,not d car controlling u in any matters.abg syam is a drifter so his "drift maniac" kindda rub off to me. (did some drifting myself but a bit 'hancur la!' :P )

d storyline really remind me of too fast too furious: tokyo drift.well,there's no surprise that malaysian do like to copy.true? anyway,d drifting was great but d actor n actresses kinnda so so la.expecially d bad guy. Rae if im not mistaken.how d hell does a 'drifter' got a so selambe face like that while drifting?impossible! atleast some expression la wei. d jokes in d movie was typical malaysian style. funny yes,but still malaysian. dont let me start w d CGI. looks really fake no matter how u wanna c it.

overall,its a good try.but i sure hope they didnt make it look like a low budget film w those kind of fake CGI while d drifting was great. what i heard was they already shoot it in real life but they cut it n make a CGI of it. -.- (i guess they wanna improve d technology skill o they wanna make it as if d drifters couldn't make it like d producer want it) anyhow, thubs up fo d effort.

days hanie going: 14 days

counted ciggie fo today: 1

listening to: silent of d nite
chatting w: stan lee

lazy sunday,monday n tuesday

2007-09-04T22:23:00.000+08:00

on sunday
went to puchong to buy that acne cream i use to wear (which is hard to find!) but end up w an empty hand.demm! so went to abg syam's place to send him some home cooked food.went straight to pj to meet a fwen.he was really shocked w my transformation.well,"if u wanna change,change d whole thing" is d only thing i could say.hahah.. then i went to UM to meet w d PW family.they're having a graffiti competition there.stayed till 9.30pm then went home.anyway.. CONGRATS NENOK FO WINNING D GRAFFITI COMPETITION!

on monday
shaza pick me up n we went to shah alam fo lunch w syafiq,nenok n sami.had d best tosai ever! afta sending nenok to ptpl,went fo pool at summit.shaza had a great fall while walking thru d arcade.i didnt notice she wanted to fall..err.."fo real".hahah..i tot she was joking around.i was holding her hand n i let go.so she fall on her knee.im really sowry shaza.really tot u were joking.heheh..mukhriz came n join us.lastly we just went had dinner at Ehsan.had d yummiest double cheese nan ever! hahaha.. its all about great food that day.

today!
shaza came n we went to darus fo yamcha.had d best nasi lemak w chicken ever!hahah.. then hanie came.met suhaila's younger bro there.then shaza made someone mad.she accidently throw an ice out of d window.(we were on d second floor)n it accidently fall on someone's head n he scream "SIAL HARAM!!".d owner came n ask us if we did that.we said it was an accident.few minutes later a kindda angry guy came n look around our table.i guess bcoz he thinks we r all gals so he felt sowry to scold us.like..whatever!then nenok,syafiq n sami join us.

days hanie going: 15 days

counted ciggie fo d 3 days: a box of 20's

listening to: fly fm
chatting w: zul (my younger bro)

fun fun fun~!

2007-09-02T02:05:00.000+08:00

had been at shaza's place fo d last 2 nites. celebrated merdeka w shaza,nuri,kodek,nenok n syafiq at d curve. but syafiq n nenok was taking too much time fixing d car's mirror that they missed d dinner at marche (mar-shey).but they get to watch d fire works thou.n we didnt coz we were still bz stuffing food up our throat.haha.. then we end d nite w a movie at cineleisure.watched perfect stranger.it was a nice plot fo a mystery movie but fo some reason,i found it boring.i even slept fo a few minutes (it was noisy la..how can sleep properly?). then nenok n syafiq went back home n so did we at 5am.really i didnt realise it was that late.

woke up early in d morning.shaza was trying to wake me up between 9-11 am (gee..thanx shaza).n she finally did woke up in d end.sami is coming to shah alam from penang n it was suppose to b a secret to d PW family (phyber wryte).only us gals knew that.haha.. anyway,we ask sami to take d train to batu tiga.n we pick him up.afta that went to nenok's house n he was surprised.we laugh out loud in d car.went to syafiq's house,but different reaction.he was pissed coz he had to wake up early.dang! afta d surprising part,we went fo bfast.then head to summit fo a game of daytona n pool.sent d boys home n watched disturbia n perfect silence on dvd.end d nite w outing w nuri n shaza fo dinner at pyramid.n not to forget 3 rounds of shisha afta that n 3 rounds of pool at club 7.nuri stayed fo a while to watch hostel.i feel asleep on d couch afta 1/3 of d movie started.

i woke up realising i slept on d couch.haha..man i was tired yesterday!realise its already 1.30 pm,its kindda rude to continue sleeping on someone's couch too late (unless i m in d bedroom! :P) so i tried waking up shaza upstairs.molesting her n even shake her up..but i failed miserably.get downstairs n had bfast of koko krunch n coffee while watching hostel.i have no prob watching icky n disgusting movie while eating something.haha..weirdo! waited fo everyone to get ready to go out but end up watching a movie on d teve.n afta hours of waiting to make a move,everyone started to get lazy n end up at 8pm i ask to send me home.my dad is going to t'ganu n my mom gonna b alone.

*will upload pics tmrw*

days hanie going: 18 days

counted ciggie fo d 2 nites: 2 boxes of 20's (its getting worst!)

listening to: jojo - secreat love
chatting w: pt

d best bestday day n d best bestday present ever today!! thanx my lalinks n mukhriz!!!!!!

2007-08-29T11:51:00.000+08:00

d title says it all.. hahaha

yes people..i am officially 22 years old! hahah....

started my day w a bad luck of no hot shower.so i was like... "fine!" n took in d cold shower.rather to find out.. it was fun.

last nite i told papa i wanted to borrow his terrano car (he could drive to work on his own already).but another bad luck.. while he was driving..he could say he cant gv d car today s he got many errands.i was like "paskjdja@&%*$ jaghdya***jkdfayu" mood afta i heard that.so went back home n trying to come up w a new plan.had to force shaza to woke up n pick me up.coz i had a job at morac to shoot some event bout go-carts.n fo d "paskjdjadfahbd jaghdya***jkdfayu" reason (which u know y by now) i need a car.pick up mukhriz s well.

it was weird n strange n ackward at first s this is my first photography job.afta getting a hang of it.. i choose to b under d sun more, sit s low s i can fo a nice angle,walk more n experiment new ways to take a pic.which end up w a rather bad/good lucks situation which is:

i lost my ciggie pouch which end up bein annouced infront of everyone n i had to walk thru w embarassment.
my face n neck turn red fo staying under d sun far too long. (i look like someone wearing google according to shaza n hanie)
keep on forgetting to not-make-pics-under-o-over-exposed.
i forgot to take d umbrella that i left when i sat down fo rest.
my zits looks hidious like hell w a red n sweaty face.
i took d liberty to eat lunch inside d car n i missed out d beginning of d award ceremony
i was tired like i wanna die so i can rest.

afta d shooting is done (which is at 2pm!) went to a fwen's house to have a shower. damn refreshing! thanks u,u know who u r.seresly..afta a drink to quenchsome thirst..sitting down on d sofa suddenly becomes something really hard to do.everytime i try to put my back to lay.. i wanna dooze off.haha.. but i didnt.shaza was hungry.

so we pick up hanie n off to domino's.shaza,i love u.thanx fo d meal.hanie,i love u.thanks fo being there teman-ing me getting bored together.chill there fo a couple more hours while waiting some pics to transfer on mukhriz's lappy (which d batt KO s fast s zidane).

shaza sent me back home n ask me to send my stuffs inside d house n ask me to come out later.i was rather confiused..but i played along.knew something gonna happen.. i cross my finger that it gonna b fun.

....

.........

............

afta i put my stuffs inside d house...

.....

........

.............

POM POM POM!!

hanie,shaza n mukhriz bom me w flour! lots n lotsa flour!! wahhh.. we ran n we shouted n we laughed,n we throw d flour again. it was awesome-ly fun!!! me s competitive (in a secret way..husshh) s i am.. i wont b satisfied unless all 3 of them in s messy s i am.unfortunately i was tired n full of pizzas.i could only revenge back 30% of what they did to me.haha..

ps:to my bitches hanie, shaza n mukhriz, ill get my revenge later! >:)

afta that..afta a very long shower.. went down to have bestday celebration/dinner w d family.kakanie n irfan n abg syam came by to join.watched malaysia vs myanmar ("menyamar" s what my big bro said) on teve which surprisingly w d result 3-1 !! n i fell in love w d malaysian footballer no 18 in that game.cant remember his name rite now thou.hehe...

days hanie going: 21

counted ciggie today: endless..i think more than 10!!

listening to: my head "sleeeeep..sleeeeeeeep!!"
chatting w: en.teabel

a dedication to hanie

2007-08-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

hanie is goin to UK to futhur her studies...

UK !! United Kingdom !!

she is leaving.. *sigh* really really dont want her to go.but in other sense,im proud n happy fo her to have d opputunity she have been wanting all this time.

hanie is goin on 19th of september.that is like 22 days more.22 days left to spend time w her.22 days more to chill w her.n tomorrow im gonna b 22 years old.seriously a really nice timing fo her to drop d news.

fo those who dont know..hanie is my bestfwen whom i known since im standard 1.its been 15 years we've been fwens.i love her to bits to let her go.

yeah yeah..i know.its not like im gonna loose her forever.she's just gonna b there fo 2 years.

2 years= 730 days= 17520 hours= 1051200 minutes

haihh.. thats too long.i know she promise to come back whenever she got a holiday.but..i just dont think that's gonna b enuff. :(

anyways..i wanna dedicate this pics between me n her

seriously..gonna miss u a looooooooooooott hanie!!!!!!!!

days hanie going: 22 days

counted ciggie today: 6

listening to: none
chatting w: saffuan,rizz

penang!

2007-08-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

i had it all planned..

n it didnt happen.. sad.. but true...

i wanna go to penang!!!! waaaaaaaaa.. :(

anyway.. evan almighty was great.damn funny..really cold in d movie.too bad i have no one to hug with.

had a fight w him again.haihh.. i dunno when this fighting gonna end.its frustrating.seriously frustrating.

again......i wanna go to penang!!! :(

i wanna go to penang!!! :(

i wanna go to penang!!! :(

i wanna go to penang!!! :(

owh..coz dg knows my bestday is coming up (29th august..ehem ehem) i got 50% more fo every amount of top fo 3 days b4 n 3 days afta my bestday date.yeay!

counted ciggie today: 4

listening to: ginuwine - difference
chatting w: saffuan

i fallen in love w a boy named haris today..

2007-08-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

d past 2 days ive been fasting.to redeem last ramadhan's fast.yeah..well,d new fasting month is coming.need to b a saint fo awhile.hehe ^.^

eventho last 2 nites ive been sleeping really late (6am) n woke up late (2-3pm)..miracly i woke up early today. at 9AM!! i mean like.. i woke myself up!gosh.. ok whatever.

nothing to do.. so i called dhino.n we talk fo about 2 hours.things are splendid now.yeay! \(^.^)/
then i cooked lamb chop.invited hanie n shaza.but they have their own family thing.meanwhile.. my parents arent at home.they had to go to some wedding at bangi.

spend d whole day "home alone" watching teve n online.haha.. afta a shower..went out w hanie fo salon n picture taking.

aunty eieiff n d family came to visit my parents just now.n they brought their grandson.
OMG!! he is damn cute..!! he even play eyes w me at d dinner table. need i to mention that WE talk n giggle n he hugged me??!!

ive really fallen in love w a boy named haris today!!

all i have to do is.. stay available fo another 20 years o so.

y u ask?

well.. he is 2 years old rite now.hehe~

new resolution: take d left days b4 ramadhan to slow down smoking.n take ramadhan s a time to really.. REALLY stop smoking!

counted ciggie today: 1

listening to: dygta - tetap milikmu
chatting w: haris!! i wanna chat w haris more!! :P

johor was so-so lah..

2007-08-23T23:11:00.000+08:00

The reason to go to johor is because of this guy.my younger bro, Zulqadri Akhrin Abdullah.got his diploma convocation from UTM on 21st August 2007 fo Computer Science.damn blady proud of him!! love love love u much zul!! n congrats!!!

started d journey on monday at 12pm.exchanging driving w abg syam.arrive skudai around 5.30pm.hmmm.. that was fast (now only i realise it :P )

ate some late lunch..n get prepared to meet mama n papa's fwen that was living at taman perling.damn jam to go there bcoz of bridge construction that had been forever according to papa.anyway,we finally arrive there n get to eat mee baso (real indonesian made it!).afta they stuffed us w oh so many food afta that..we took some picture fo memoir.

we rent a hotel at sri sayang near skudai fo 2 nites.n here are how was d room was.this is abg syam n my room.n yes.. that is a play station 2 controller im showing off.we brought that so that we wont get that bored.hehehe.. \(^.^)/

ok.on d second day.it was d "zul's convocation day". it was d main purpose to go to sku-"dead boring"-dai in d first place.so here are some of d pics...

then..on d way back home on d nex day.....

while i was driving...........

POM!! ketang ketang ketang!!

d left back tyre kindda exploded.abg syam n papa was sleeping before its started..n d first thing they said was "tayar pancit!! tayar letop!!"

hahaha.. fo some reason.. it sounded funny in a strange way..coz it was really an emergency. :P
well,here r some of d pics....

well.. that's all fo d last 3 days at johor.. had fun lah.. that's undeny-able.. having both my sibling around is something i miss a lot.most of us have things we have to do.so,this "family trip" is something that most of us been waiting fo fo quite some time.n here r some other random pics....

First pic: thanx to this guys..we wont have to wait on d left side of d road where those busses n lorries was driving like a tornado!

Second pic: my big bro so 'perasan' to become a tyre modal.but its a great photo that i took thou. :P

Third pic: again.my big bro 'super perasan' wearing my younger bro's robe.

Fourth pic: from a steel reflection.is this how i will look like if im fat n short? no offense to my 'short-er' fwens yah? hahahah.. ^.^

Fifth pic: found this cow boy hat from a stop-by at 'RnR jejantas Ayer Keroh'

listening to: hanson- broken angel
chatting w: aye

lazy sunday

2007-08-19T20:55:00.000+08:00

woke up at noon.

eat watermelon as breakfast.

had a fight w mama again.i think she have this some unfinish business w me o something.getting on my nerve by making everything i do is a mistake. *sigh* -.-

cook lamb chop n mushroom gravy fo lunch which i ate at 3pm n finish at 4pm. (comfort food need to b eaten slowly so that d comfort will last longer)

4.30pm fell asleep at d sofa till 5.30pm coz papa turn d teve volume up.

pt called n talk fo about an hour or so.

finally taken my bath coz there wasnt any water during d day.

did some facial.still need long way to go w this face. *sigh*

been infront of d pc since 7.30pm till now.

i think im gonna fix dinner fo myself later,mayb c if anythng interesting on teve,read manga,sleep again.

tmrw goin to skudai,johor fo zul's (my younger bro) convo.gonna b there fo 3 days.

listening to: disagree - scarecrow adams
chatting w: no one

"tgk secretary sy nie..tak buat ape pun"

2007-08-18T22:58:00.000+08:00

fo those who doesnt understand this:

"look at my secretary..she didnt even do anything"- in english
"wa pu che taw mandarin" - in chinese
"indi purengge" - in indian

^-^

this is my spirit fo multicultural phrases in malaysia..haha..

anyway,back to d story:

send papa to work.n i actually had something to do today.well,yesterday i had something to do as well.i had to regroup this big pile of papers that had dated back to 2005.n today is d job to fill it in to its file.took quite a long time to do it. (its not even finish even when i took d whole day to it!)

n to make things worst..d papers is like dusty n all.so everytime my fingers/hands touches d papers,i could feel d dust on my fingers.euw!had to restrain myself to even touch my face.

later afta i had send papa back home.i decided to join dayah,tina,sab.na.fariz,farrah n pak cik at OU (one utama).had a blast seeing these people.we talk talk n talk..make a fool out of myself.listen to what had become to itm.

word of d day: suddenly i miss ITM. sigh -.-

ps:vincent cant make it this weekend as well.sigh ~*

listening to: incoming msg on my phone
chatting w: pt on my phone

enuff!!

2007-08-16T20:14:00.000+08:00

went to d hospital again today.fo mama's medical check up on her cholesterol.on d way there,we had a fight.bout my unca again.its never enuff.there's always something bout him that tick her off.n i had to hear all of it.

its not like i dont wanna listen.its just,d same thing been said again n again.but i dont c her did something to make it rite.she just keep on complaining.n when i had something to say bout it,i got blame fo not supporting her.its frustrating.

today was diff.she had to do blood test at d hospital.so she doesnt want to b stressful.so she cut me off while i was talking n said she doesnt wanna talk anymore.fine.i let it go.

then when it was while i drove her to d office to meet papa.she start again.this time,i just want to remind her what she had promised 2 days ago about this.n what i get? to b blame fo not supporting n not listening n not understanding her bout d situation. what d flamingo???? (o.0)

i got so frustrated i cried while driving.n i drive like a maniac.so i can send her faster.i even said

"i dont wanna talk to u nemore"

.......its frustrating.really frustrating like hell.

went to summit to cool off.n i did.then pick up my parents.
miraclously she act like nothing happen.

...

.....

.......

..........

n here it goes again.d frustration building up high.adding up d tension.

getting out of my mind already!!!! argh!

listening to: im not ok!!! - my chemical romance
chatting w: nenok,ijan,rizz

half moody day

2007-08-15T22:04:00.000+08:00

remember i said RTM gonna b around n shoot in d office?it was today!

i wore something nice lah today..n do some make up.tot they gonna arrive early morning.end up around lunch hour.haihh~

by d time they already arrive.. i was cranky. (-.-) n i mean really cranky like those lil kids who had to sit still by their parents n want to b rebellious (n also im still depress bout yesterday).i end up making excuses to run off of d office.i really cant sit still.its damn boring n dull!!

d worst part is i raise up my voice towards mama n papa infront of others.in my head was "dont raise up ure voice dumb head! its rude!" but d msg couldnt get thru.so i did raise up my voice.stupid eyh?spoil brat!

well,i did get to get out eventually.went back to subang.buy some stuffs.n went lepak at darus.gosh..eventho i meet this people every single day at d same place, this is d time when i really need them d most.d time to cheer me up n straighten my head so i wont get cranky nemore.

so here goes my gratefulness to these people who cheer me up today:

hanie
shaza
muhriz
syafiq

didnt know what happen during d RTM shoot..but i do know i already apologize to my parents fo being such a cranky spoil brat..end d nite w a family dinner at maju n maju.

tandoori n cheese nan = comfort food

listening to: Nelly - Play It Off
chatting w: teddy n sadig

mad day!

2007-08-14T20:55:00.000+08:00

quite a lot of things i had to do today..

~~went to PPUM to take papa's medication n fo mama's cholesterol check up~~
~~buy lunch fo papa n mama~~
~~pick up syafiq n nenok from shah alam to accompany me~~
~~went to sri kembangan n try fo appeal~~
~~went to ioi mall to pay d "saman"~~
~~yam cha w shaza at darus~~
~~pick up papa n mama~~

everything is done.until things i didnt expected happen today as well

on d way to darus at sunway,a stupid uncle fella hit d back of my car.idiot. -.-
while trying to explain to papa bout d accident,i got scolded at d same time. i hate myself :-|
came back home n discovered i got deleted from "D" 's myspace.what d flamingo?
try to find comfort from others but most of them is bz.

basically i just want to kill myself tonite.its damn depressing.

doing d same thing every single day.seeing d same people every single day.

to b nice all d time.to b things that im not all of d time.to impress others all of d time.to live up other people's expectation all of d time.

im tired..

really.. its tiring to fullfill other people's wishes n none of my own.

to think im doing this fo redemption fo my sins..its f***ing hard ok!!

depression is coming along d way.d signs?

hard to sleep at nite
no appetite
rather to b quiet
smoke more
stay alone in d room
doing this crappy post

listening to: my own anger whispering how worthless i am
chatting w: teddy

me new hair!!

2007-08-13T22:01:00.000+08:00

today.. ive straightened my hair! shaza belanjew almost half of it. yeay!

TQ TQ TQ SHAZA!! I SO LURVE U!! <3

gonna paste in d pics later..

new crisis of d day:
my antivirus detected a trojan virus but i dont seem to find it anywhere.a ghost virus mayb? hmm..shud i b worrying? 0.o

owh yeah..today i ate d most satisfying waffle!! w my fav falvour :kaya n planta. yum yum!!
(o is it because i waited fo almost 3 hours fo shaza's hair n my hair to b done n d only thing i ate fo lunch is McD's apple pie n im damn hungry by d time i ate those waffle?) 0.o

well..whatever it is.. its still d most satisfying thing i ate fo d whole day.hahha!!

new ambition: start to find cure fo this bloody pimple/zits/acne.i look horrifying already! :(

listening to: Israel Kamamawiwo - Somewhere Over The Rainbow
chatting w: teddy

working on sunday?

2007-08-12T20:52:00.000+08:00

u heard that rite.my dad ask me to go to d office on SUNDAY.

gosh.woke up early to go to work (sunday some more!) really is such a hassle.
stayed until lunch time then chiow.d workers needed to nefty up d place.

u know..clean up..paint d wall..arrange things..

y u ask?

on thursday RTM is coming to shoot there.yeah..u heard it rite.

FITRAH FOOD IS GOING TO B ON TEVE!! yeay!

thats fo sure gonna make our company to b known more.

which means = more demand on d market for d cincau drinks = more work = more income = more KACHING!!!

cant wait fo it.thursday is A MUST to come to d office.

on d evening..went out fo a lil yam cha-ing wit hanie.gosh.its been a long time i havent done that w her.she always all redeeming fasting fo last year's ramadhan.n mine? still got another 6 more days.hahahaa..but not fo now.. japanese flag is conquering down there.if u know what i mean. ;) hahhaa..

listening to: taking back sunday- make damn sure
chatting w: bok

vincent is in town!!

2007-08-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

need i say more?

VINCENT IS IN TOWN!! YEAY!!

hahaha.. vincent is my pet bro.well..a very big pet bro. :P
known him since mmu years.been a great listener n theraphist fo me.haha.. (i was really troublesome b4)

wait..a msg is coming.

..
...
....
.....

(0_o) he cant come.he have another plan w his bro.d dinner w me is cancelled.n to think i was really excited to meet him d whole day. *sigh* nex week then..

owh yeah..today at noon,i went to damansara specialist to visit shaza's mom.she had "batu karang" operation yesterday.they even show me d "batu karang" that was inside her b4. there was 12 of them.it was black n small like beads w a lil spiky all over it.gosh! she was a lil tired n weak from d operation.but doing fine..

wish her to get well soon!!

listening to: news on d teve
chatting w: zetty

same old story~

2007-08-10T23:09:00.001+08:00

yesterday
nothing much happen.
woke up.send my dad to office.payed d bills.ate at mydin food court while waiting fo shaza.pick up my dad.went home.

today
woke up.send my dad to office.went back home.do some groceries shopping.sleep.pick up my dad.entertain some guests.

pretty dull eyh?what can i say. (-.-)

listening to: nothing
chatting w:no one

things that had happen in a year n half.

2007-08-08T00:34:00.000+08:00

ever since i left MMU,definately a lot had happen.

yasmin,my beloved niece, died from leukimia on 01/03/06. exactly d same day as my big bro n my sis in law's anniversary date.
i broke up w my longest bf.
i went to UiTM, Melaka taking diploma in photography n digital imaging.
took some beating just to realise i need to change my life.
my dad got a mild heart attack on 07/07/07.
im staying at home to take care of d family eventho d new semester already started.

"there's always a first time fo everything"
its d quote i always use.never knew its all true..

d semester already started fo 7 weeks now.i've been in n out of d hospital fo d first 3 weeks.n now im just staying at home o working at my dad's office n helping him out.i got another 5 months to go fo my new sem.

here goes..we will see together what will happen okie?

listening to: jessica simpson n nick lachey- where u r
chatting w: azmir